Thanks to: Fabie and Jojo for encouragement and inspiration and to Meg, Molly and especially Eli.

Disclaimer: see part 1

Rated NC-17

Stormchild

Part 3 in Gifts Trilogy

by Claudia

"If it keeps snowing like this we'll soon be unable to open the door without having the snow fall in our living room," Chakotay muttered under his breath when he closed the door behind him. There was still enough space left in front of their front door where they could brush the snow off their coats and boots. When he now entered their shelter he brought a wave of fresh air with him. Kathryn slowly stood and came over to him on wobbly feet.

By now she was almost seven months pregnant with Rhianna and so getting up and sitting down was quite a problem for her aching back and feet. At times she thought she wouldn't survive this, but then there was always Chakotay who worked the knots out of her back with is skillful hands. But now this wasn't enough any longer. She'd played with a certain thought for quite some weeks now but she never told him about it. Despite their great trust in each other she doubted that he'd understand her, not to speak of putting it into effect. She sighed and kissed his red with cold cheek.

"I've missed you, dear," she whispered, ignoring the dull pain in her back and putting on a genuine smile. Chakotay in turn had to smile, too. He loved this genuine smile of hers, and—he had to admit—he found it more charming than that mocking Captain's half-smile of hers. She hadn't put on that smile for a long time. Not that he'd miss it—on the contrary. It just confirmed that she finally had become just Kathryn, his Kathryn, his fiancee and the mother of his soon-to-be-born daughter.

"Me too," he placed a soft cold kiss on her forehead. "How are the two of you?"

Kathryn covered his hands he'd gently put on her belly with hers. His hands were huge and tan and strong, but they possessed a gentleness you'd hardly think them being capable of. Her hands instead, her tiny hands, couldn't cover his by a long shot. She wove her fingers into his.

"Very well," she said. "Is it still snowing?"

"Yes, but not that heavily as it used to. Thank the spirits. I was getting worried," he admitted.

He let go of her belly and gathered her in a tight embrace. It wasn't that easily with Rhianna in between them but on the other hand he loved the feeling of the child pressing against his stomach. It was as close as he could get to his daughter at that time. But he wouldn't have to wait very long any more. Two months ...

"I've got a present for you," she suddenly announced, after having enjoyed the blissful silence of his hug for a while.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, loosening his embrace just enough to look at her face. Her blue eyes were sparkling. Tohopt Nabituh. Never had those two words meant more to him than ever since he'd gotten to look in those eyes of hers for the first time. An open book at times, but a mystery when she didn't want to be read, loving and hating, cool and warm, happy and sad ... he could go on like this forever. Her eyes were her soul.

She grinned at him and stepped out of his embrace to waddle over to the table. Yes, she was waddling. He could hardly believe that this was the same woman who once had used to walk the corridors of Voyager with long, powerful and proud strides. Supporting her aching back with her left hand, she bent down a little to pick up something lying on the table. When she turned around he found a hypospray resting in her palm. Chakotay frowned. Was she joking? He took off his heavy coat and scarf and crossed the room to join her. Kathryn handed him the device, her smile broadening at his ever curious and perplexed expression.

"Kathryn, I'm not sure what you're getting at," he admitted, weighing the device in his own palm. It was an ordinary, Starfleet-issue hypospray. So what?

"You remember what we were talking about before I told you our daughter's name?" she asked, her gaze fixed on the medical device in his palm.

When Chakotay spoke, Kathryn could hear the laughter in his eyes. "About sisters and brothers?"

"And that we should wait a bit having them," Kathryn added with a nod. She looked up at him and found that the smile she'd heard only seconds before was gone. Both seriousness and happiness were displayed in Chakotay's dark eyes. Happiness because he always wanted to have a bunch of children around him, his own children, and with that utterance, Kathryn had just agreed on having more children after their first-born. On the other hand there was seriousness. He knew that Kathryn needed time after her giving birth to Rhianna, but he also knew what that meant. No sex at all, for their contraceptives were just like the virus--made inefficient by New Earth's atmosphere. But he loved her so much, he ached for her ...

She reached for the corners of his mouth and tugged at them, making him smile. "Hey, don't look so worried. You already have the solution to this problem," she softly said, never breaking eye-contact with him.

And that was when the meaning of the hypospray in his hand dawned on him. He couldn't believe it. This woman was simply incredible. "You've found some atmosphere-resistant contraceptives." It was rather a statement than a question.

"Yes." She nodded in addition to her words. And, with a wicked grin and a twinkle in her eyes, she added: "And I'm looking forward to using them ..."

"Now, that's a surprise," her lover chuckled and closed his lips over hers. "But why don't we use them now?" he whispered in her ear, his hands wandering down her back.

Kathryn stepped out of his embrace and carefully sat down on the chair next to her. She reached for her mug and sipped the tepid cocoa. "As you may have noticed by now, I already am pregnant and besides I doubt I'm ..." she began, but Chakotay cut her short in mid-sentence. He knew what she was up to tell him. She feared he might find her unattractive.

"Now, that's nonsense and you know that, Kathryn," he said, squatting next to her chair, taking her hands into his. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, even more so as you're having our child. If you don't want me to make love to you because you're not in the mood or because I could hurt you or the baby, it'll be all right with me. I don't want to hurt you. But if it's just because you think you're unattractive, then I'll have to convince you that you're not." He cupped her chin and made her look him in the eyes. Kathryn usually wasn't the type to avoid eye contact with anybody she found it hard to deal with, so he knew her well enough that whatever was bothering her, was a touchy subject. And ever since she'd told him about their child he'd become even more empathic, apart from the fact what had happened afterwards.

"Chakotay, it's ... I can't believe you this. I feel so fat and my whole body is aching," she admitted almost tuneless. So this was it. She feared that he might reject her. For Chakotay, this was one of the most difficult situations he'd ever had to deal with in these past few months. How could he make her believe that he actually was aching for her?

Following a sudden intuition, he suggested: "What about taking a bath? As far as I can recall it's your favorite way of relaxing. What do you think?"

At first, there were only utter surprise and disbelief shown on her face and he wondered what had gone wrong. But then she brightened up and burst into laughter. Despite his confusion about her very opposing reactions, he too had to laugh for her laughter had always been quite catching. After they'd regained their composure, she explained what it was that had been so funny to her. "I've been thinking for quite a while about taking a bath, but I never asked you to. The tub is much too big and heavy as though you could bring it inside. If it were summer, there'd be no problem at all ..."

"I know what you're getting at," Chakotay nodded. But the solution to this problem came to him as quickly as the initial idea had. He wanted her to have this bath, now ever more so that he knew how badly she wanted to. "And I'll think about it, okay?" he offered despite the idea taking more and more shape in his mind. And when another idea hit him, it sent goosebumps down his spine and felt them spreading all over his body. He shivered.

— –

Time was his friend, his lover, his saviour. He had started working in the small shed he'd built in fall, building something. Building a cradle for Rhianna, his first gift for her, and building her parents' future. Carving the bright fragrant wood gave him time to think things over.

Chakotay couldn't tell why, but somehow he sometimes felt excluded from the already strong and intimate relationship between mother and the yet unborn child. The times when he found Kathryn standing with that faraway look in her eyes with her hands gently stroking her swollen belly and her lips murmuring soft inaudible words of love to her daughter evoked the most opposing feelings in him. On the one hand he felt happy that they were in love with each other, triumphant for they'd cheated their own death and to top it all had created another life out of their love and willpower, and because of her beauty and radiance, aroused.

On the other hand he felt burning jealousy for he'd done his part in creating a new life while Kathryn was still involved in it. What would he give to know how it was what it was like to have a child growing inside one, to get to know that strong relationship and the utter love for a human being he didn't even know yet. It seemed as though Kathryn and Rhianna shared everything, not only blood and food, but feelings as well, secrets he didn't even know they existed.

But then Kathryn shared everything possible with him. Every movement of the child in her womb—especially the first—had been one of their happiest moments. Whenever he wanted to listen to their daughter's strong and steady heartbeat she let him cradle her between his legs, laying the tricorder on top her belly and listening to it until either of them dozed off to blissful sleep. And she gave her body to him despite sharing it with Rhianna until exhaustion made her fragile body collapse into deep sleep. For all this he had to be utterly grateful and thus he had no right to feel jealous.

He loved her so much he sometimes didn't even know how to show and prove it to her.

This night would be the night of the nights. Chakotay'd thought of everything and he was anxious for after-dinner time to arrive.

Then it was over, finally. He'd prepared the meal but hadn't managed to eat very much. His thoughts were already outsides in the snow. In the warm snow ...

"Where you going?" Kathryn asked him with a quizzical expression on her face when he put on his coat and boots after he'd cleared everything up. He never took an after dinner walk.

"I need to get some fresh air. No need to worry, love. I'll be back in a quarter of an hour," he replied and kissed her goodbye softly.

"I'll miss you," she whispered, putting her hand on top of her belly. "Promise to give me a back-rub later?"

Chakotay couldn't help but smirk. "You bet. Take care." With that he went out.

He returned on time, just as he'd promised her to. He came back in time to find her undressing and preparing for bed. She needed a lot of sleep lately, so they'd gotten used to turn in early. Most times he'd stay awake reading or meditating or just looking at her, but there were other times when they kissed each other good night and made love as passionately as they could regarding Kathryn's condition.

"Ah, there you are. Did you enjoy your walk?" she asked as he bent down to kiss her cheek. "Mmm," he hummed as he nuzzled her earlobe with his lips. "Here, let me help you." He offered and opened the fastener of her bra on her back. She wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder. The scent of fresh cool air he brought with him sort of woke her up again. She was tired all she wanted to do was take a shower and then turn in and sleep, sleep, sleep ...

His cold hands wandered down her aching back, both making her shiver and reawakening her senses as well as they eased the pain. Kathryn drew in a sharp breath and shuddered. "That feels good," she purred and leaned into his supporting hands. "Give me that back-rub you promised me?" Closing her eyes when he slipped his fingers beneath the fabric of her panties, Kathryn both felt and heard him say: "I'd love to. But I don't like the atmosphere in here." He stepped out of her embrace to pull the panties down her thighs and lent her a helping hand when she stepped out of the circle of fabric around her feet.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she wondered, watching Chakotay scrutinizing her. There she was, standing naked in front of him, with her pregnant belly making it impossible for her to see her feet. Following a sudden intention she pulled the pins confining her hair to a loose knot on top of her head and let them cascade down on her shoulders, curling softly around her shoulders and partly covering her heavy bare breasts. "Better like this?"

"You're so beautiful, Kathryn, as I've ever seen you," Chakotay softly said, his hands hovering all over her body. "But I still don't like the atmosphere in here."

Kathryn stared at him in disbelief. He'd never said he didn't like their shelter, despite both of them had to admit that Starfleet's simple practical sense for housing didn't exactly match their own sense of aesthetics.

"Do you trust me?" he suddenly asked.

"You know I do. Chakotay, what is this all about?" Kathryn's sudden sexy feeling was gone as soon as it had been aroused when Chakotay had undressed her. His strange behavior made her uncomfortable and she was tired. Suddenly she had the strange but strong wish to be simply left alone.

"Close your eyes then," he asked her.

"Chakotay, I'm getting cold and I'm not in a mood for your games right now," she declared with her blue eyes still open. Kathryn was about to turn around and leave for the bathroom, but his tight yet tender grip around her bare arm made her stop.

"Trust me. Please close your eyes."

Kathryn did so, but just for the sake of this night's peace. She thought that if she did as he said this would be over soon and she could go to bed. After a moment or two had passed she felt the weight of her bath towel and her quilt on her shoulders and a second later Chakotay had lifted her up in his arms. A shriek of surprise escaped her lips, but when she looked at his face she found a solemnity in his eyes she'd only rarely seen before. Like the moment he'd told her his Angry Warrior Legend. The smile that was curving her lips despite his *game* faded before it brightened her face.

"Chakotay?" she softly asked.

"I'll give you a back-rub," he announced. "And I'll give you a soak in your bathtub. How does that sound?"

She felt her mouth open in utter surprise. Of all things she'd expected him to do *this* was one of the bottom-most items on the list. But that didn't mean she didn't like it. She loved it, but considering the circumstances she'd soon dumped the idea herself. But now that he gave her this ... She covered her surprise with a question, or better to speak with the begin of one, for Chakotay cut her off in mid-sentence when she said: "But how ...?"

"Don't always second-guess things, Kathryn," he asked her and before she could say another word he took the advantage of her open mouth and closed his lips over hers, his tongue digging deeply into her, dancing with her tongue, tracing the sharp edge of her teeth, tickling her palate and caressing the soft flesh at the insides of her cheeks. Both of them gasped when they finally broke the kiss for lack of air.

"Come on, lets go," Chakotay breathed and made for the door. But before he steeped out into the cold, he made sure that he held her tightly to his warm body and asked her to close her eyes. This time, however, she simply did as he'd asked her to and enjoyed the tension of anticipation building up in the pit of her stomach and somewhere deep down in her womb.

When they'd left their shelter, Chakotay turned around and around, whirling her through the air and making her lose her bearings. Only then did he go where his surprise awaited her. The snow crunched loudly beneath his boots and she felt his warm breath drive away the cold from her face. But that didn't keep the cold tugging at her bare feet, creeping up her legs to where Chakotay's arm supported her knees.

Kathryn couldn't tell exactly where they were going, for she'd lost her bearings. Despite her knowing her surroundings very well, she couldn't make out where he was carrying her, let alone how long he was going until their travel ended. Time flows more slowly with one's eyes closed, more so when you didn't know where you were going.

"There we are. You can open your eyes now." And so she did. When her eyes had adjusted to the dim light, she found that Chakotay'd cleared a narrow path to her tub and had arranged the torches they'd used in summer to illuminate the short distance from their shelter to their pavilion between the trees at night in a circle around the tub. The hot water was steaming with the tiny water drops rising into the air and condensing there immediately, filling the air with thick red colored mists. Unintentionally she raised her eyes to the sky and there she found the stars sparkling down on them, just as though Chakotay'd arranged them there for her.

"Oh Chakotay, it's beautiful," she whispered.

"Mmm," he nodded. "But it's cold. High time you got your soak," he decided and helped her settle down into her tub. But when she finally was lying in the hot water, she found that he hadn't filled it with enough water that all of her body was covered with it.

A wicked grin showed his dimples. "Of course not," he laughed, blowing clouds of warm breath into the cold air. "Now let's see what we can do about that."

"What about joining me?" she offered, knowing very well that this was what had been his intention all along. But she also knew that he wanted her to actually say it.

He said nothing more. Instead, he began to undress taking his own sweet time, achieving exactly the effect he'd had in mind. So when he caught her licking her dry lips and found her skin going all goose-pimply despite the hot water, he decided to not torment her any longer. Chakotay joined her in the hot water, but it wasn't important to any of them any longer that the water level rose to a few centimeters below the edge of the tub. He'd barely settled down and found space where to put his long legs that he found her lips on his mouth, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling herself closer to him.

"Oh Chakotay," she murmured into his mouth, "what a wonderful idea." Then she kissed him as passionately as he'd kissed her a few minutes earlier. Between kissing they somehow managed to get her settled on his lap, cradling their child between them. His hands were stroking her back, giving her the back rub he'd promised to give her. She leaned into his arms, her hair dipping into the water and covering his hands on her back when she sat upright again. "Chakotay?" she asked huskily.

"What?" came his muffled reply. He was tracing the line from her jaw to her collarbone with a series of kisses.

"What about skipping the starter and coming right to the main course?" she offered, shifting in his lap, feeling his arousal pressing against her belly and rubbing her pubic hair. But before he could say a word, she'd reached down between them and was caressing his arousal while with her other hand she held tight to him. Chakotay made a surprised sound and lay back into the backrest of the tub so that she could kiss his jaw-line and throat. With an effort he kept caressing her back, digging his fingers into her flesh at times when his nearing climax threatened to make him fly.

The sheen of both sweat and steam covering his face reflected the flames of the torches he'd put into the snow around the tub. His eyes were closed and Kathryn once more admired his long dark lashes, shuddering at the thought of them feathering over her skin when he'd trace the outlines of her body with a series of kisses. The mere thought of it was enough to make her wanting him even more. So she rose to kiss his eyelids and accept the offer of his invitingly parted lips. She'd never seen that delicately curved lips with men before and realized that she'd found them erotic ever since she'd seen him for the first time. Chakotay almost grunted with disappointment when she refused to deepen the kiss and withdrew early. Instead she ran her fingertips up and down his aroused length, enjoying the sight of him setting his jaw and turning his head. She smiled at the way his eyebrows furrowed and couldn't help touching the tiny wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. When he turned his head to rest his cheek against her palm she brushed her thumb over his lips.

Only then did he stop the back-rub and slid his hands over her slick skin to turn his attention to her breasts. A sound more resembling a sob than a blissful moan escaped from deep down in her throat and made her stop tormenting him with her fingers. Her breasts had grown the more sensitive the longer she was pregnant and by now it needed only a breeze to touch them to send her over the edge. Now it was her who was closing her eyes. She tightened the grip of her thighs around his hips and lifted herself up to take him into her. Both of them drew in a sharp breath at their joining, knowing it didn't take more teasing to make each other climax. Chakotay wanted this to last, but he couldn't help holding himself back when Kathryn slowly began to rock against him. The only thing he could do was leaning back ever more deeply to fill her completely and draw her face cradled in his hands down to him to kiss her.

They shrieked into each other's mouths when their climax sent them flying, but it didn't need deadening those joyful sounds for nobody could hear them except for the spirits of the woods.

Kathryn collapsed spent against Chakotay's broad frame and it took her her own sweet time before she'd calmed down. There wasn't anything more peaceful she could think of than resting on Chakotay 's chest and listening to his calming down, the heavy but slowly calming heaving making her fall into a blissful slumber.

Chakotay kissed her wet hair and protected her with his arms from the cold air. Although he couldn't see her face he knew that she was smiling when he felt his daughter kicking both her and him into the stomach. "Now we've woken her up," he whispered.

"Mmm," Kathryn just sighed in contentment. "But it's a nice way of being woken up, don't you think?"

"It definitely is," he allowed and following a sudden intention he pulled her down under water with him when he relaxed his supporting knees. They broke the surface two or three seconds later, he laughing and Kathryn gasping for air.

"You fear uafásach, don't you dare do that again!" she grumbled after regaining her breath. But instead of an answer her former First Officer apologized with a kiss. Kathryn brushed his wet hair from his forehead to take in his tattoo like she'd done so often before. Seeing it had had an reassuring effect on her ever since they'd gotten to know each other, she realized all of a sudden. Not that she hadn't had this feeling before but right now its meaning hit her with all its power. "I love you, Chakotay," she said with a solemnity hardly known with her. She traced the dark blue lines of his tattoo, locking her blues to his pitch blacks and repeating the sentence with them over and over again, as though it were a prayer.

"Chakotay," she began, and despite not knowing quite how but knowing that she had to go on, she added after his murmured *yes*: "Do you ... I ... don't want you to ever leave me. I couldn't go on without you ..."

All the playfulness in his eyes disappeared and he looked at her intently and very seriously. "Kathryn, I won't do this. I couldn't bear it myself either," he said softly, cupping her cheek and catching a tear that rolled down from her eye with his thumb. Before she went on, she bent her head back, closing her eyes as if to compose herself, as if to seek support high up in the sky. She looked at him again, and even before the words were spoken he knew what she wanted to say. Realization upon this made his eyes full and a shudder shook his body.

"Chakotay, do you want to marry me?"

They didn't need any more words except for Chakotay's almost sobbed "yes" for a long time that night and a second and third love-making sealed their unspoken vows. Looking at each other, reading in each other's eyes and joining their bodies to confirm their joint spirits was enough for them.

"I wish I could carry you over another threshold than this right now," Chakotay sighed when he carried her back to their shelter on wobbly knees after the cold had become too uncomfortable for them.

Kathryn smiled. "I don't mind, really, love," she murmured sleepily. "I love you," she added after a while, ever more softly and when he put her down into their bed she was already sound asleep. Chakotay crept under the covers next to her and held her tightly. But in spite of his exhaustion he couldn't find sleep as easily as his wife had, being still overwhelmed.

His wife.

He'd never thought of ever getting married ever since he'd joined the Maquis, let alone to a Starfleet Captain. Not that he hadn't had the wish to have a family one day, on the contrary, but it was the prize he was all too willing to pay for both Dorvan V and his family's freedom. He didn't want his wife and children having to live under the constant threat of the Cardassians. Their eventual loss would have been devastating to him and so he'd come to the decision he'd rather have no family of his own at all than having them killed by the most evil people.

But now this had changed profoundly. It already had changed when he'd gotten to know Kathryn Janeway better. He'd been able to figure having a family with her one day, but he'd never thought of it coming true with all their responsibilities. He'd accepted paying a prize again, but he knew that this time it was an even higher prize to pay when he came to realize that he was in love with his Captain. But then they had had to leave Voyager and everything had changed ever since. He knew what happy a man he was and he couldn't thank the spirits enough for it.

After all this was more they were paying him back with than he'd given, he knew that now and he wondered how he'd come to deserve their gratefulness.

It was already dawning when Chakotay finally slid over to lie in sleep's tight embrace, his cheeks all wet and his beloved wife sleeping peacefully in his arms, giving life to their daughter.

— –

"Good morning, Mr Janeway."

Had he been slumbering for the past half an hour or so, staying on the threshold between sleep and a waking state, he was wide awake now. Chakotay sat up in bed with a start, almost knocking the mug off Kathryn was proffering him. Hot cocoa, as always. In the beginning she'd only teased him by making cocoa for him too, as a kind of revenge, but now they'd gotten used to it and it was one of their most cherished rituals.

"Same to you, Mrs Chakotay," he smiled, kissing her good morning. How sweet she tasted, she'd obviously already had her treat of cocoa this morning. While the sweet taste of her mouth lulled his tongue, his nose was charmed by the discreet scent of her body lotion.

"Oh, how could I forget our little one?" he murmured into her mouth, moving his lips down to her belly, parting her dressing gown to kiss Rhianna. Kathryn looked down at the head of her husband and ruffled his tousled from sleep hair. She loved drawing her fingers through his cropped silky salt and pepper hair. Why did people always have better hair than herself?

Chakotay's caresses changed from their morning ritual to driving her insane with desire. She managed to put the mug with the hot steaming beverage down in time before he pulled the dressing gown down her shoulders. He kissed his way up to her lips, taking in every square centimeter of her skin, memorizing her altered state, until his lips locked once more to hers. Kathryn moaned with pleasure, but didn't move. She kept kneeling next to him, giving him the impression as though she didn't enjoy this.

"My beautiful tohopt nabituh," Chakotay whispered, pulling her into his embrace. She gave way to this and returned the hug half-hearted. "I love you so much it hurts," her husband of one night softly said. When he recognized her awkwardness, he pulled away enough to look at her face.

It was her Captain's face he was looking into.

The softness and the happiness were gone, replaced by fear and doubt. Of course her face didn't show it that way, it'd be not much of a Captain's face then. It were the small subtle things he recognized and that led him to his conclusion: the tiny wrinkles at the corners of her eyes she showed only when in great distress, the tightness around her lips, the slightly set jaw and the hint of a furrow on her brow. And it was in her eyes of course.

"What is it, love?" he asked in genuine concern. Whatever it was that made her uneasy, it was nothing to be neglected. Chakotay'd come to take her states of mind into consideration seriously, for she'd never shown any more ups and downs during the past three or four months again.

"I don't know ..." she hummed and hawed. She tilted her head to avoid his eyes. Chakotay didn't push her by making her look him in the eyes. When she felt better that way, it'd be best to leave it.

"Is it anything I've done? Have I hurt you last night?" he asked calmly, trying to make some sense of it. He'd never forgive himself if that was the case. But it obviously wasn't for Kathryn didn't say anything. Then it hit him. "Is there something wrong with Rhianna?" He tightened the grip around her arms.

"I don't know, it's ... it's nothing really got to do with her. I've just got an uneasy feeling, that's all. Rhianna is all right, I've just made a check-up. You know, it's just a funny feeling. Maybe I'm just a little ..." she tried to explain, finally seeking contact with his eyes, pulling the dressing gown tightly around her body. From what Chakotay saw she was serious about what she'd said. But would one make jokes about something like this otherwise? He mentally slapped himself.

But he understood her all too well. And that was both comforting and worrying him. He remembered the day when they'd had the first snow. It had been then that he'd had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't been able to tell what it had been that was disturbing him. But he knew that Kathryn had assured him that everything was as it was supposed to be. He had trusted her then, knowing that she herself knew best what was going on with herself. Now that she had that uneasy feeling herself, it made him remember his own and that worried him. On the one hand he didn't want to push her or even increase her uneasiness, but on the other hand he needed to know how she was feeling. Perhaps he could help her?

He doubted it.

"Maybe a walk and some fresh air will drive those dark thoughts off my head?" she wondered aloud while getting dressed.

"That's a good idea. Here, give me half an hour or so and I'll accompany you," he offered, somehow relieved.

Her refusal hit him almost as strongly as had his mental slap. "No? Why not?" he asked her.

"Please, Chakotay, don't make it any more difficult. I need some time of my own," she pleaded. He nodded, reluctantly.

"Do me a favor?" he asked stepping behind her and helping her put on her coat. He drew her into his embrace again.

"Any," she smiled, still worried.

"Take at least your combadge with you, will you?" He opened his hand in which he was holding the shiny device. They hadn't used them in ages, as it seemed. Kathryn turned in his embrace, tempted to refuse it. But she didn't. She knew he was right and when she gave it a second thought she had to admit it'd make her feel at least a little secure. She took the device from his palm and put it in her pocket. It wasn't an instrument to control her, they both knew that. It was to make sure that in case she needed him he'd know in a second. Relying on her guardian angel meant challenging her luck. And this was far too serious and precarious a situation.

"Thanks, love. I'll be back soon. Miss you." She smiled faintly. *Miss you* had become their own private way of saying good bye when they separated for a short time to be on their own, meditate, think things over. Kathryn brushed his lips with hers and left the shelter.

Chakotay wrapped his bathrobe tightly around his huge frame, stepping in the doorway and following his wife with his eyes until the woods swallowed her. "Miss you," he murmured and turned to get back into the warmth of their home.

It felt colder without her.

Without her and Rhianna.

Taking a shower helped a little to wash those unpleasant feelings away from him. There were uneasiness, anxiety and fear.

Premonition.

He closed his eyes and bent his head back to let the hot water stream over his face, let the drops drum into his face. They lulled him into a feeling of security, made him close his inner eye as well, shut out the tormenting feelings, summon the Akoochemoya.

"Akoochemoya, Akoochemoya, Akoochemoya," he repeated his mantra over and over again, letting the water run over his lips, into his open mouth, but never swallowing it.

He lost track of time, got lost in his mantra ... fell into the depths of memory ... got lost in its powerful current ...

He only recognized the brewing storm when he heard the rolling thunder on the horizon. He stopped carving the headboard and cast a glance at the darkening sky. Dark clouds had come up, the gentle breeze that had been whispering in the silvergreen leaves of the olive-like trees had grown chilly and stronger. He frowned. Kathryn hadn't yet returned from her little excursion to examine the insect traps she'd established almost immediately after they'd built their shelter. She still believed she could find the specimen of insect that infected them with the disease and thus be able to create a cure. Chakotay often wondered where she drew the strength from that she needed to keep up hope, even though she knew that even the Doctor hadn't been successful. So where was she? She couldn't have gone far for she'd left only about half an hour ago. A strange feeling built up in the pit of his stomach. However, he decided to wait a little while, she'd probably return in no time.

When the thunder grew louder and lightning illuminated the eerie gray-brown colored sky and Kathryn hadn't still returned yet, the feeling in the pit of his stomach turned from anxiety into real worry. She must have recognized the storm by now, she wasn't the careless kind of woman not only because she was an able scientist. She'd never let her curiosity get the better of her when her health (let alone her life) was at stake. He dropped his tools and followed her into the sparse wood to look for her. The wind was still growing stronger and tugged fiercely at the branches of the trees. The thunder was deafening loud by now. This was not the kind of storm one usually experienced planet-side. It wasn't even raining and that made Chakotay flap open his tricorder and when he checked the readout it confirmed his suspicion: it was a kind of plasma storm. He'd better hurry up now.

Repeatedly he shouted her name but however he soon realized that he hardly was able to drown the storm's noise.

Finally, he found the tool case with the boxes that held the insects she'd taken with her. But there was still no sign of her.

"Kathryn!" he shouted again, his throat getting sorer and sorer the longer and the louder he tried to shout. He turned in every direction and repeated his call but there was no answer.

All of a sudden he took a few steps to his right, following his intention that had spared him branches falling down on him. A dark presentiment popped into his mind and kept nagging at him. Kathryn lying there buried under a huge branch, blood covering her entire body, lifeless ...

"NO!" he cried in order to banish the image from his inner eye. "KATHRYN!"

But then he found her, and the nagging worst case scenario became true ...

"NOOOOO!"

"NOOOOO!" he roared, leaning heavily into the wall, his knees wobbly, refusing to hold him upright any longer. He pounded his angry fists into the thin wall, sinking down, cowering for a while, collecting his thoughts with the water still drumming down on him. Slowly, his agitated breathing calmed down.

After five minutes or so he got up and went naked as he was into the living area and retrieved his own combadge. He stood hesitant for a few moments, not knowing whether to activate the device or not. Something in him screamed that not, but the need to know that Kathryn was fine got the better of his fear.

"Chakotay to Kathryn?" he spoke after he'd tapped the device and it had chirped. Only when he'd spoken he realized that he'd rather asked for her than ...

"Kathryn here. What is it, love?" came the almost immediate reply over the combadge. He hadn't heard her powerful voice over the combadge in a while and he realized just how used they'd gotten to their life on New Earth.

"Is everything fine with you?" he asked.

"Yes, don't worry, love. Miss you," she answered almost cheerfully. Obviously she was enjoying the walk and it was having the right effect. Calming her down. Chakotay sighed with relief.

"I love you, Kathryn," he said, and added: "Come back soon. Chakotay out." He tapped the device and put it back onto the dresser.

— –

Kathryn shook her head and put the combadge back into her pocket. Chakotay was sweet, and she was glad she'd brought the combadge. It made her feel a lot better. The walk was doing her well and she had the faint impression that her regained cheerfulness had rubbed off on Chakotay a bit. Or at least did she hope so.

Trudging through the deep snow was fun. It always had been. And now she enjoyed it even more. Kathryn needed to blow off steam in another way than making love with her husband. Her husband. My God, she'd never thought of getting married, not even to Mark. He was nice and everything but considering that they'd known each other almost a lifetime they already had been sort of married. Sort of. After the accident on Tau Ceti Prime she'd thought she could never love a man again, neither in the way lovers do, nor in the way a daughter does.

But she'd been wrong, awfully wrong. She'd fallen in love with Chakotay, the man she was supposed to take into custody. Now she was married to him and expecting their first child. Unconsciously, her hands were stroking her belly. And then there was Tuvok. Gods, had she hated that self-important Vulcan when she first got to know him. But now? Well, now he was commanding Voyager instead of her or Chakotay. But now he'd become an almost paternal friend, she'd come to cherish his wise advice, even if she didn't always like it, in its logical way.

If only her mother knew she'd come to peace with herself and everything around her. She'd be so glad, so happy for her. All of a sudden, the lines of an old children's song popped into her mind. Her mother used to sing it to her when she was little. It was an ancient German song and ever since Kathryn had looked its lines up in a song book, it was almost more heart-warming to her, for her mother always mixed up two of the words. There'd been a time, however, when she'd hated the song. Even now she didn't like thinking about it. She'd sung it as a means of self-protection when they—Admiral Paris and her—had been captured by the Cardassians. But it all seemed so far away now that it almost seemed as though it didn't belong to her life at all. She was glad for this, because in a way this was right. She wasn't that Kathryn any more. She was Kathryn, the cast-away Kathryn who'd made a home far away from home, she was Kathryn, lover and wife of Chakotay, Kathryn, mother of Rhianna.

She caught herself humming the tune of her childhood and knew that it'd be the tune of Rhianna's childhood as well. Kathryn klein, ging allein, in die weite Welt hinein, Hut und Stock ... she smiled, however tears were running down her cheeks. It was Stock und Hut but she wasn't going to change it, never. ... stehn ihr gut, ist gar wohlgemut. Aber Mutter weinet sehr ...

A high-pitched shriek brought her back to reality. It was an all too familiar sound and it changed the nostalgic smile on her face into a delighted one. She'd thought the primate had gone off to warmer regions for winter, she hadn't seen him in a while.

"High there," she softly said. Carefully, she squatted—which wasn't easy these days—and held her hand out to the animal. It didn't come closer though, but instead it shrieked again and pointed—as far as one could describe it as a genuine gesture—at the sky. Kathryn looked up and through the branches of the bare trees she realized that the pale blue sky was now clouded in an odd gray-brown color ...

She should've known earlier what the appearance of the primate meant. It was her guardian angel. She tapped her combadge but there was no response. So she had to rely on her guardian angel after all. She followed him, knowing that the animal knew the storms better than she did. Perhaps it'd lead her to some kind of shelter.

— –

Half an hour after Chakotay had talked to Kathryn the storm broke. "Damn, I knew it!" Chakotay swore under his breath when he realized it. He grabbed his combadge and activated it. This time, it chirped only to inform him that communication wasn't possible with the storm howling outside. *Shit,* so he could also forget beaming her back via the shuttle's transporter. That left him two options: waiting and hoping she'd found some shelter or getting out there and looking for her.

In his haste he struggled with his coat and scarf. He put on a cap and only then he stuffed the medkit and a blanket into his backpack. As a precaution he took his combadge with him. On the outside, the storm was howling furiously. The wind blew the snow right into his face and he felt as though he were cut with little knives. He pulled the scarf over both mouth and nose. Then he switched on his wrist-torch, flapped open the tricorder and followed its readings.

The strong wind made going a hard job and the deep snow wasn't much of a help either. He crossed the clearing and when he entered the woods the winds abated some but now he was in danger of being hit by a branch. At least did the tricorder work. As quickly as possible he worked his way through the storm, following the direction his tricorder was indicating.

When the signal got stronger, he pulled the scarf from his face and started shouting.

"Kathryn!"

He didn't get any answer, no wonder for he didn't have the slightest chance of drowning the storm, however loud he yelled.

The signal on the display beeped loudly. *She must be around here,* he thought and tried to shout again. "Kathryn!"

This time he got an answer. "Cha ..." His name was cut off by the wind, he hoped.

"Kathryn! Where are you?"

This time a groan and shortly after it a high-pitched shriek answered him. Thanks to the shriek he was able to make out the direction the sounds were coming from. He worked his way through the deep snow and then he found her. She was lying at the foot of a huge tree, curled up in a fetal position. The tree provided fairly good shelter, for its branches were many and interlaced at many points. So they shut out most of the wind and thus built sort of a cave.

He fell to his knees next to her and put an arm around her shaking shoulders.

"Kathryn! Kathryn, it's me. I'm here now, everything is going to be all right," he soothed her.

She raised her head and only then did he notice the bleeding wound on her forehead. When she realized the shock in his face, she murmured: "It's nothing but a mild laceration, nothing to worry about ..." She pulled her left hand away from between her legs and when Chakotay took it, he found it warm and wet. With a start he withdrew it from her limp grip and when he looked at it, he found it bright red. "Kathryn!?" he looked at her in terror.

"I'm in labor, Chakotay," she sobbed.

As quickly as he'd gone into shock he recovered from it. Chakotay knew very well that it was too early to give birth to Rhianna, but he also knew that he had to stay calm and bring Kathryn back to the shelter as soon as possible. She couldn't give birth to Rhianna out here, in the storm. "Don't worry, love. I'll get you back to the shelter no matter what," he wiped his hands with snow and then cupped her cold, hot face with them to kiss her.

"I'll try to," she managed a lopsided smile. "We still have plenty of time, it has only just begun." Chakotay couldn't but admire her for her strength.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Fine, except for my head and the child coming," she smiled. "I'm so glad you're here, Chakotay."

Chakotay didn't say anything. Instead he got the blanket out of his backpack and wrapped her cold body in it. Then he lifted her up on his arms and with arms locked tightly around his shoulders and neck they made their way back to the shelter.

Afterwards neither Chakotay nor Kathryn knew how they'd made it back in the end, with the plasmastorm crushing above them, the wind turning the snow into white walls of tiny needles and making it hard for even one person alone to find his way through the depths of the snow.

Chakotay tugged his wife into bed right after they'd returned to their shelter, covering her with as many blankets he could find and made her drink hot cocoa to get warm again. She was far from suffering from hypothermia, but he wanted to make sure she got warm nevertheless. He helped her to undress and they hadn't even finished, when another wave of pain swept her away at full impact. Without knowing what she was doing, she gripped her husband's proffered hand and clenched it that fiercely that she left the marks of her nails in his skin. Chakotay shuddered at her painful cry, he'd heard her cry often before, but never that intensely, that pain-struck. It gave him the shivers. He supported her back when she arched towards him, holding her tightly and providing her with all the support she needed. When she recovered, she lay limp in his embrace, loosening her hold of his hand and panting heavily.

"Oh God," was the only thing she said.

"Good, I mean ... hell, you know what I mean," he murmured and got up to kneel between her legs.

"Don't go away, Chakotay!" she whined, reaching out for him. Chakotay returned to be at her side and dabbed the sweat away from her damp face. "Hush, love, I'm not going anywhere," he whispered in her ear and gave her a kiss.

Then again he crept to her feet and flapped open his tricorder. "My, Kathryn, Rhianna seems to be in a hurry. It won't take you any longer, promise," he smiled at her.

"But ..." she started when another wave of pain hit her. Again she cried out gut-wrenchingly. After that, tears were streaming down her face. "... it's much too early, Chakotay. She's due in a little less then two months, but not now!" she finished her sentence when she'd regained her breath.

"Don't worry about her, she's going to be all right."

— –

"Push, Kathryn!" he shouted at her, just about an hour and a half later. "Come on, Kathryn, push. I can already see her head!" He didn't dare look at her bright red face, damp with tears and sweat, contorted in pain. He tried to ignore her heavy panting and her cries, that now seemed as if the came from somewhere deep within her, from the darkest parts of her soul. He knew that her hands were clenched into tight fists, seeking hold in the sheets of the bed. She'd drawn up her knees and spread them as widely as possible, the muscles in her legs all tense.

"What do you think I'm doing here, you fear ua ..." she hissed at him, again taken away by the pain.

"There she is! Kathryn, just once more, please!" he urged her on. There were only the shoulders left to pass through her, the rest would be child's play, literally. "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!" Kathryn cried out once more in her pain and when she collapsed into the pillows and cushions supporting her, she felt the child slipping out of her, caught by her father's careful hands.

Kathryn propped herself up on her elbows with an effort to look at what was going at her feet. When she saw Chakotay's happy, delighted, surprised, tear-stained face the tension of the past few hours fell away and made way to utter tiredness and exhaustion. But curiously, both were outweighed by the happiest moment in her life. Or so it seemed.

"Chakotay? Chakotay, is she all right? What is it?" she softly said, concern furrowing her brow.

Chakotay didn't reply immediately. Instead he fiddled around with some medical devices Kathryn wasn't able to see, but the expression on his face didn't change. She couldn't read any fear or shock in it, so everything must be all right.

"Chakotay!" she urged him. "Why isn't she screaming?" Terror accompanied her words.

"She ... welcome Rhianna, Kathryn!" he simply said when he raised the child so her mother could see her. She was so tiny, so small! Kathryn pressed a hand against her mouth from sheer joy and to suppress another cry.

So tiny, she was so small, she couldn't actually believe her daughter was alive. But then she was. Chakotay had just severed the umbilical cord and wrapped her in a towel. On her forehead he'd adjusted a cortical stimulator meant to help the little one breathing, for she was too little to do it on her own. But other than that she seemed perfectly healthy.

Chakotay settled down next to Kathryn, handing her the tiny bundle in his arms and couldn't help but weeping with joy and relief.

Kathryn looked at her new-born daughter with both her eyes and gentle fingers, taking in every square-centimeter of her. "She's so beautiful," she sobbed, holding her with less then all the care and love flooding her heart. If she'd done so, she'd hugged her baby to death. "Our little Rhianna ... I can't believe it." She stopped counting her tiny little fingers and looked at Chakotay, who was beaming with love. She'd never seen a more foolish look, a sweeter expression on his face. No longer the Angry Warrior he'd once been. He had died when his daughter was born.

"Our little Tikkuna," he added, touching the child's dark hair gently and feathering a caress over her head.

"What does that mean, Tikkuna?"

"Stormchild."

Epilogue

Carefully, Chakotay handed her the infant to hold her in her trembling arms. He kept supporting the new-born's auburn haired head until he'd made sure that she was holding her tightly and securely.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Chakotay merely said, the happy tears in his eyes reflecting in the darkness of her also full eyes. She looked wide-eyed at the infant in her arms and didn't dare moving. With her fingers she traced the soft lines of her chubby cheeks, the tiny nose and the silky down of her eyebrows. The baby was pouting in her sleep, her bright blue eyes hidden behind long lashed lids. Her petite hands were curled into loose fists and crossed over her chest.

*You're so beautiful, my little one,* she told her in her thoughts, only mouthing the words, talking to her without words. She beamed at Chakotay who was sitting next to her on the bed and nodded, answering his question. He smiled back at her and nodded, showing his dimples she loved so much to see.

Kathryn looked at her daughter and found the spitting image of herself at that age lying in her arms. "Yes, Lillian is very beautiful," she confirmed, reaching out with her right hand to caress her rosy chubby cheeks.

"Just like her mother, isn't she?" Chakotay asked the little girl cradling his new daughter carefully and secure in her arms. The girl was the spitting image of her father, having inherited his dark hair and eyes and tan skin. She'd developed fairly well for a preemie, and Chakotay and Kathryn had soon realized that her name Tikkuna suited her all too well. Looking at her now they couldn't believe that she'd been born almost five years ago. It seemed as if it had been only yesterday that she was born in that stormy winter-night, long before her due-date.

*Yes,* she nodded, her thought word echoing in her parents' minds. *Just like Mama.* She seemed somehow sad.

"Hey, Tikkuna, come here," Kathryn softly said, spreading her arms wide to gather her first-born daughter in a tight hug. Chakotay took the sleeping Lillian from her sister's arms so that she could hug her mother. Carefully, she settled in her tired mother's arms. Kathryn stroked her raven hair she was wearing in a thick single braid dangling down her back between her shoulder-blades. She kissed her brow where she knew the blue lines of her tattoo to be. "Don't you ever think we love you less than we love your brother and sister. Promise?" she murmured in her ear, stroking her back and rocking her gently back and forth.

She felt Tikkuna tremble and choke, but when she heard her words in her mind, she knew that her daughter's words were heart-felt. *I know, Mama. I love you too.*

"Hey, what about me?" her father asked.

*I love you too, Daddy,* she assured him, emphasizing her telepathic words with that intense look in her eyes that still managed to give both Chakotay and Kathryn the shivers and told them more than any words in the world ever could. Of course this had a second meaning to them, with Tikkuna being dumb because of her premature birth. Kathryn and Chakotay had been so shocked when they'd first realized that Tikkuna couldn't speak our make any sound at all. It had taken them long to accept this, they'd almost blamed each other, to say nothing of blaming themselves. For all of them it had been a hard time. But then they'd discovered their daughter's telepathic abilities ...

And using those abilities she began to 'sing' an ancient song for her little sister, just like she'd done for her little brother, and just like her Mama had done for her.

Lillian klein, ging allein ...

Deireadh

(End)

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