Heaven

by Claudia and Fabie

Chapter 1

He shifted position in bed and turned on his right side. He was not going to open his eyes before the chrono would tell him with a noisy beep to do so. With a blissful moan he snuggled deeper into his pillow. He’d almost gone back to sleep when first he felt warm breath caressing his forehead and then soft lips brushing over his closed eyelids. He was awake at once. To his great surprise there wasn’t any dazzling sunlight pouring in through the window. It was as dark as it had been when he had turned off the lamp on his nightstand a few hours ago. Well then, he didn’t have anything against the idea of going back to sleep for a few more hours before.

But who was lying next to him in his bed? He couldn’t possibly have just dreamed that, for the sensation the soft touches on his eyelids had evoked were too intense, too real to be just a dream. After all, he had had quite a lot of dreams like this in the past few months. Ever since Catherine ...

Oh he missed her so much. He missed her so much that he kept dreaming about her, night after night, one dream more painful than the other ... they were so real. He hadn't woken with an arousal ever since the end of his puberty. And he hadn't woken with a tear-stained face since the tormenting night-mares of his childhood.

So he finally forced his eyes open, hoping that she’d be lying next to him, but knowing she wouldn’t, couldn’t for she died ten weeks ago ...

When he opened his eyes and when they had finally adjusted to the dimly lit bedroom, he found that nothing was the way he’d left it. Their -- his -- bed was standing right below the window that had suddenly become a skylight with no curtains at all, the room ... everything had changed, from the wallpaper to the furniture, from the pictures on the walls to the things lying on his nightstand. Even the smell and the sounds were different.

With a start he sat up in bed, finding that he was sleeping naked when the sheets slid down to his groin. He’d never liked sleeping naked, except for certain nights ... Colourful stripes were racing past the skylight, illuminating the strange room just enough for him to see with whom he was sharing his bed.

It was a woman, she was lying on her left side, her head propped up on her left elbow, her reddish shimmering hair brushing the pillow, flooding down over her right shoulder, barely covering her bare breasts. When he’d sat up in bed, he’d taken the sheet with him, exposing her naked body to the waist. But her face ... He held his breath.

It was Catherine’s face he was looking at: the same bright blue eyes which he could read as if a book, the same sweet curves of her lips he loved to see smile, the perfect nose ...

The woman raised her right hand and rested it on his upper arm. She cast him a concerned glance. "Chakotay, you okay?" God, even her voice was the same, it even had that husky touch it always had when they made love. But what was that she had called him? Chakotay? She hadn't called him that in a long time. He was so nonplussed that he couldn't say a word. Catherine ... she had died ten weeks ago after the birth of their daughter. How came she was in bed with him? Oh yes, it must be a dream. How else could it be possible what he was experiencing right now? Maybe Isabella was right after all. Maybe he really should go and see a psychiatrist. It couldn't go on like that. Not only because of him but also because of his family and his friends. They too were suffering from Catherine's sudden and senseless death. And they had to endure his grief as well.

He lay down again, turned away from the ghost that haunted his dreams and tried to go to sleep again. When he woke in the morning, she would be gone, gone forever, lying in that cold grave of hers. But before his head even hit his pillow again, he felt her bare breasts pressing against his back, her arm wrapping around his torso and her lips almost touching his ear when she repeated her question. The touch was so real, so warm, so ...

"Chakotay, what is it? Please tell me!" She really sounded concerned.

That was the moment he realised that all of this was real. "Catherine?" he dared to ask, shifting so that he could face her. Her arm rested on his chest now, her breasts touching his right side, the flood of her soft silky hair falling like a veil over his shoulder. He raised his left hand to touch her cheek, temptingly first, afraid that when his fingers touched her skin she would disappear into thin air. But she stayed right where she was, she even tilted her head so that his hand cupped her cheek. She was soft, warm ... real.

He felt a tear trickling down his cheek. "Catherine, I love you so much," he whispered, pulling her down to kiss her.

To hell with his doubts, to hell with his dreams, he just wanted to cherish the moment, live the moment she was with him again. He didn't even care about the disappointment he would have to face the next morning when he wakes and finds the other half of his bed cold and empty. All that mattered was that she was with him now. To hell with Isabella's psychiatrist, to hell with the strange surroundings. He was in heaven now, where his beloved wife was.

Their lips touched for a kiss, brushing each other temptingly, carefully at first. But then she opened her lips and parted his with her tongue, eager to devour him with all her passion. She cupped his face in her gentle hands when he wrapped his around her waist and rolled her over to lie on top of her, one of his knees parting her legs, her hands stroking over his back, wandering down to his waist, down to his butt, down, down ... to where his hand had found its way, down to where he would be able to send her to heavenly heights ...

Chapter 2

Chakotay had dozed off quite a while ago. But Kathryn was too excited to find any sleep. She was lying beside him, still naked, watching his beautiful frame and wondering what in the world she had done to deserve a man like him. He was everything she could have hoped for in life. He gave her the feeling of being needed as a human being -- as a woman -- and not only as captain of a Federation starship. She felt protected with him around. He was the light which had led her out of the darkness, the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel of loneliness she had been trapped in for such a long time.

Sometimes Kathryn thought that getting stranded out here, so far away from everything which was familiar, was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Not that she didn't want to get home, no. But she often wondered why she had had to get stranded so far away from home to finally find her real destination, to find peace within herself. Fate? Perhaps, she wasn't sure. But right now she didn't care. She was happy and reality would take over again soon enough.

Their bodies had become one several times that night. It was amazing how perfectly well they fit together. Like a match made in heaven. It had been a very intense night. Each of them had explored every square centimetre of the other’s body. Kissing, touching and caressing everywhere as though they needed to know every detail by heart to create a memory for eternity.

A smile appeared on Kathryn's face. This night was almost like the first time we made love, she thought. She remembered it as if it had been only yesterday. It had been a few days after she finally had had the courage to tell Chakotay that she was in love with him, too. They had decided to take it slowly. Both had thought they would need their time to get used to it. So they had thought ...

It had been after an usual shift on the Bridge. Chakotay had spent the evening in Kathryn's quarters. After dinner in the mess hall they just wanted to relax and enjoy the evening together. Chakotay was lying on the couch in the living area, his head resting in Kathryn's lap. She was stroking lovingly Chakotay's thick, dark hair. They spent quite a while this way, just enjoying each other's company. When Kathryn suddenly stopped stroking him, Chakotay opened his eyes and had reached out for her. Cupping her head in his strong hands he gently pulled her closer until only centimetres were separating their faces. Then their lips met and they kissed. Softly at the beginning, like they had so many times since that special day Kathryn had opened herself to Chakotay. But both of them knew that this evening would be different. No words were needed. The look in each other's eyes spoke volumes. Everything, the so long hidden passion and desire for each other surfaced. That had been the evening they had made love for the first time. Not only their bodies had become one but their souls as well.

Yes, it was almost like that evening, Kathryn thought again. Not that Chakotay wasn't that passionate anymore. God no, every time their bodies melted into one it was like fireworks. Kathryn had never had such a passionate lover like Chakotay before. It had been different this time, though. Tonight she had almost thought that Chakotay's life depended on it. As if he was afraid to lose something he had just found again.

Kathryn had loved him for a long time. Even back on New Earth she’d known deep within herself that Chakotay was the love of her life. But it had taken her some time to work it out in her mind, to think about what a relationship with her First Officer would entail. And she’d believed for a very long time that the cons outweighed the pros. But life on board Voyager had changed. People had started accepting that they probably would have to spend the rest of their lives aboard this space ship. And so had Kathryn. It had only taken her longer to work it out for herself.

Every captain needed their few hours' sleep a night and Kathryn was no exception. But she didn't find the relaxing sleep she needed so badly. She was restless and woke up several times because of disturbing dreams. She had dreamed about Chakotay disappearing into ... she couldn't remember. The memory of the dream was too hazy. But she didn't like the part she could remember, the part in which Chakotay had left her. Every time she woke up she glanced beside her to make sure Chakotay was still there, lying beside her. And he was. Kathryn sighed in relief. The dreams seemed so real. No, not the dream itself felt so real but the feeling of having lost Chakotay. It was almost scary.

Having been disturbed for the fourth time, Kathryn got up. A look at the chronometer told her that it was soon time to get up anyway. She picked up her dressing-gown from the chair at her bedside and turned off the alarm at the chrono. Chakotay was on duty today for the meeting only and he certainly could need the sleep, especially after last night's events. Kathryn was smiling at the thought of their passionate lovemaking. She put on the dressing-gown and made her way to the bathroom. A hot shower in the morning was everything she needed to get fit for the day. Well, besides a cup of coffee. She couldn't live without it, it was an old habit, but one she celebrated.

Her duty shift would only begin in one and a half hours. So Kathryn didn't have to hurry to get ready for the Bridge. Actually, Starfleet captains didn't have a regular duty roster like the rest of the crew. But Kathryn had got used to starting duty with alpha shift in the morning, and she usually left the Bridge hours after them.

When Kathryn came out of the bathroom, already in uniform and her hair tied together in a ponytail, the chronometer told her she still had forty-five minutes left until she was due on the Bridge. She crossed the room and stopped in front of the replicator. They had to use their replicator rations sparingly. Kathryn went to the mess hall when she was hungry rather than spending all her rations on food. She didn't want to do without a cup of coffee in the morning and Neelix' version was no substitute for the real thing. After she had ordered the beverage, Kathryn made herself comfortable on the couch at the viewport. She grabbed for one of the padds lying on the coffee table in front of her. She hadn't been in the mood to read the engineering reports last night. Something she had to do now. A captain couldn't appear at the morning briefing without having read the reports.

Forty minutes later Kathryn stepped out of her quarters and was on the way to the Bridge. She stopped halfway to the turbolift. Kathryn suddenly felt as though she had forgotten something. A look down her uniform was enough -- her communicator! She had put it on her nightstand last night because her uniform had needed cleaning. Kathryn turned around and went back to her quarters. When she entered the bedroom she ran straight into the chair at her bedside. Her eyes hadn't adjusted quickly enough to the dark room and because she was in a hurry now Kathryn had completely forgotten about the chair.

Barely able to keep her balance, she stumbled towards her bedside-table. She glanced at Chakotay who was shifting position in the bed. Damn, now he's awake! Kathryn thought. But his eyes were still closed. She was about to turn around and make her way out of the bedroom when a sleepy voice filled the room. "Catherine? How's the baby?".

"Wha...?" Kathryn froze where she was standing, completely taken by surprise. It took her a few seconds to get her mind somewhat cleared. "Chakotay, I really don't have time for your jokes right now!" she whispered with a husky voice. When she took a second glance at her lover she noticed that he had already fallen asleep again. He probably hadn't even heard what she had said.

Knowing that she would definitely be late for duty now, Kathryn quickened her steps towards the turbolift. The few crewmembers she was passing in the corridor gave their captain puzzled looks but Kathryn didn't notice. Her mind was too occupied with another matter. How could he possibly know about this already? I've only known about it for a few hours myself. The Doctor wouldn't have told him, no. I ordered him to keep this strictly confidential.

Fortunately the turbolift was empty when Voyager's captain stepped into it. Kathryn instructed the computer to take her to Deck 1, the Bridge. The ride seemed to take forever. Kathryn, focus your mind on the ship now. This has to wait until later.

When Kathryn finally entered the Bridge, gamma shift had already left and alpha shift had taken over ship operations.

"Report, Mr Kim". Kathryn made her way across the Bridge to the chair in the centre of the room, the Captain's chair. She tried to appear not too preoccupied. It was hard, but somehow she managed.

"Sensors show we passed some kind of spatial distortion at 0100 hours last night." Before young Ensign Harry could continue, Kathryn interrupted him. "Why wasn't I informed immediately about this incident?" She rose from her seat and turned to look at the ensign behind OPS, whose fingers were nervously sliding over the panel in front of him.

"I detected the readings only a few minutes ago. The phenomenon hasn't shown up on the standard sensor sweeps. Gamma shift was running a series of non-standard sensor scans last night for an Astrometrics project. Seven finished only an hour ago. When I began analysing the data I came across the anomaly."

"Any reports from other stations about unusual activities?"

"No, Captain. The anomaly doesn't seem to have had any effects on the ship," Harry answered.

"Have a full report ready at 1300 hours this afternoon, Ensign. And I want a better description of 'what' kind of spatial distortion we're dealing with."

"Aye, Captain." Kim replied and gave his full attention to the task he had been given.

"Tuvok, you have the Bridge. I'll be in my ready room." With these words Kathryn Janeway disappeared behind the closing doors of her office.

Even before Chakotay opened his eyes he knew that something was different around him, very different. The room was definitely too bright. She must have forgotten to turn them off. And what is this noise?. The sound of a crying baby was filling the room.

When Chakotay finally opened his still tired eyes he found himself in a completely strange environment. Where was he? Where was Voyager? Kathryn!?

Chapter 3

Chakotay sat up with a start, realising that this was a fault the second he opened his eyes. He was blinded by the bright daylight pouring in through the open window just opposite the bed. While his eyesight had to struggle adjusting to the unusual illumination, his other senses were alert at once. The breeze blowing in through the open window carried the fresh scent of the ocean, but his ears were as challenged as his eyes were. The baby seemed to scream louder with every minute he was sitting in the bed.

Finally, he opened his eyes and took a quick look around the room without squinting. In its style it reminded him of the hotel suite he and Kathryn had stayed at during their search for Henry Starling back in 1996. But the suite had lacked the personal, private touch this bedroom did certainly have. The framed photographs standing on top of the chest of drawers looked very interesting.

"Kathryn?" he asked again. The other half of the bed was empty. The linen sheets were smooth, too smooth for a happy couple sleeping between them. Only now did he realise that the second pillow was missing. What the hell ...

So he wasn’t aboard Voyager any longer, and -- as it seemed -- neither in the Delta Quadrant nor in the twenty-fourth century. Great, he thought. The only other person was the crying baby and somehow he doubted that he’d get any information from it. But at least I can befriend him, he thought and got up to go into the child’s room through the door next to the chest of drawers.

He found the room in gloomy light with the curtains drawn shut. He opened them to let the sunlight in. Then he went over to the cradle and lifted the baby out of his bed.

"Oh, dear little one. I’d protest like this too with wet pants. Now. Lets see if I can help you," he softly said, holding the tiny little human securely in his arms. The baby wasn’t older than maybe ten weeks. Chakotay looked around the room and when he’d found what he’d been looking for he suddenly jumped when he heard a voice behind him. A familiar voice. A very familiar voice.

"Jack?"

He spun around and looked straight into Kes’ very surprised light blue eyes. "Kes!" he almost exclaimed.

"Chakotay? Oh Holy Wise Men!" Kes said, obviously not that delighted as the big man with the crying, kicking bundle in his arms.

"Kes, what is it?" he asked her, perplexed by her reaction.

"I can’t believe this. How did you come here?" she asked.

"Where is here? Or rather: when?" Chakotay replied with a question.

"San Francisco in 1998. Chakotay, oh dear!" she came over to him and flew straight into his arms. Perplexed, Chakotay hugged her too, as far as the baby would allow it, of course.

-----

Later, with Kes bottle-feeding the baby and Chakotay having his breakfast, the Ocampan woman told him everything she knew. To his great dismay he’d discovered that Kes didn’t have her alien looking ears any longer, but considering what she was telling him, it was certainly for the better.

"When we wanted to return to our own space and time back in 1996, Captain Braxton obviously made a big mistake, despite his preparations. He obviously created another timeline with the spatial rift, in which Voyager didn’t make it back to her own space and time. This timeline, in fact. Somehow we managed to transfer all crew down to Earth, with all technology necessary to hide those crew members whose alien features couldn’t or didn’t want to be altered. They live in the Canadian woods now, Neelix among them. That’s where each of us is going every now and then. The Doctor’s there, too. We couldn’t stay aboard Voyager for fear of being detected or altering the time line by being detected by aliens too early, you know?" Kes started her explanation in a confusing way. Chakotay stared at her in disbelief.

"So I take it that’s why you called me Jack?" Kes nodded. "Sounds funny, but could you please tell me who I am?" he asked with a crooked smile on his lips. He couldn’t believe it.

"Of course. You’re Jack O’Tay, professor of archaeology at a famous local institution, married to Catherine Janney-O’Tay, astronomer. This is your daughter, Chloe," Kes told him briefly.

Chakotay frowned. "Jack and Catherine O’Tay. I presume Catherine Janney formerly was Kathryn Janeway? Why did she change her name too?" he smiled. Clever, very clever.

Kes smiled uncomfortably. "To prevent her ancestors from finding her by chance. Almost everybody changed their names. Chakotay," she didn’t finish her sentence.

"Chakotay, there’s something I have to tell you," she began, a serious expression on her young face, showing her ancient knowledge. It sent a cold shiver down Chakotay’s spine. Kes hardly ever became that serious, so if she did, she certainly had a reason for it.

"Shoot," he urged her, unsure whether he wanted to hear it, despite the eagerness in his voice.

"She died right after giving birth to Chloe. An eclampsia the doctors weren’t able to cure. When we decided to call Doc, it was already too late. I’m so sorry, Jack ..." Kes told him, squeezing his hand compassionately.

Chapter 4

Chakotay had heard Kes' last words as if from far away. The moment she had told him Kathryn had died everything around him began to slip away. The shock was almost overwhelming him. His heart felt as though someone had stabbed a knife right through it. Kathryn ... dead? No, this can't be true, Chakotay's mind cried out the words into the sadness and loneliness.

Kes was sitting quietly at the breakfast table, watching Chakotay dealing with the bad news she had just told him. His face was contorted with pain, his eyes ... just staring into emptiness.

A few minutes passed. Both of them were just sitting there in silence. Chakotay felt a warm hand softly stroking his own. His mind slowly began to perceive the surroundings again. Lifting his head, Chakotay looked right into Kes' elfin face. Her lips were forming an innocent smile.

That was when he realised something. It was the Kathryn in this timeline who had died and not the Kathryn he shared his life with. Somehow he didn't feel as relieved as he had expected. On the contrary, it made him sad because it reminded him of how fragile love was. It could make you the happiest person in the universe but then it could also tear you apart.

Chakotay couldn't imagine a life without Kathryn. Even the thought of her being dead hurt him immensely. She was his life.

Kes didn't say a word. She was just sitting in front of him, letting him work out the events which had taken place the past few minutes. Chakotay looked up at her again, trying to form a smile, knowing he would fail miserably.

"Jac ... Chakotay? Are you alright?" she softly asked. "I will be Kes, don't worry," he answered softly and added, "Thank you for giving me some time."

"You are welcome, Chakotay. But now we'll have to find a way to get you back where you belong." There was so much optimism in her voice he couldn't help it but smile at her, gratefully. This time it was a genuine smile, still faint, but a smile.

-----

Captain Kathryn Janeway was sitting at her desk in her Ready Room. She would have to leave her office only for a short time this morning. She couldn't cancel the morning briefing with the senior staff just because she was distracted by some personal matters. Fortunately, there weren't many topics which needed discussing. And as Harry Kim had only just started the investigation of the anomaly they had crossed the night before he couldn't report much more than he had already told his Captain earlier this morning. She would have to wait until the afternoon when the Ensign's full report was due.

Kathryn had been looking over the reports of the ship's various departments for the past two hours. This was typical for her. She often threw herself into her work when a personal problem was bothering her and she didn't feel like dealing with it at the moment. That way she was able to forget about it for a while. Usually it worked, but today was an exception. Kathryn found herself staring at the computer screen in front of her or at one of the various padds on her desk several times. She just wasn't able to concentrate on what she was reading. Her mind drifted away to the events of the previous day ...

Kathryn had felt very tired in the past few weeks and there had been more mornings than usual when she found herself running to the bathroom because she couldn't keep her breakfast down. So she had finally made an appointment with the Doctor. She could tell that he was surprised about her voluntarily coming to him.

The chime of the Ready Room door brought Kathryn back from her mind's journey. A sigh escaped her. She wasn't sure whether to welcome the interruption but finally she said "Come." Sandy-haired Lieutenant Paris walked into the room, carrying a padd.

"Captain, I just wanted to hand over today's con report before going off duty and since Commander Chakotay is off today I thought I'd bring it to you personally." Kathryn Janeway reached for the padd the Lieutenant was holding out to her. "Thank you, Mr Paris". She began to tap through the entries stored on the padd or to be more accurate, she tried to appear as though she were interested in the report. But somehow it didn't seem to work the way she had expected. Looking up, she noticed that Tom Paris was still standing in front of her desk.

"Is there anything else, Lieutenant?" she asked and looked up at him. "Uh, ehm ... no Captain," he answered after a short moment. Kathryn knew that expression on Paris' face all too well. This suspicious grin of his wasn't good news. "Dismissed, Lieutenant." She made clear that Tom was free to go.

After her pilot had left the Ready Room Kathryn got up from behind her desk and walked over to the viewport on the other side of the room. Softly massaging her sore neck she wondered about the scene which had just taken place. The last thing she needed right now was the ship gossiping about her. That she and the Commander had become involved wasn't much of a secret anymore. They had been seen together several times, holding hands, taking a midnight stroll through the ship. The crew didn't seem to bother and Kathryn was thankful for that. But what could Paris be up to? Or was she just seeing ghosts?

Outside the viewport the stars were streaking by, creating dazzling, silvery stripes in the darkness of space. Kathryn was still standing at the window admiring the wonderful view. Unconsciously her hand slid over her belly. There wasn't any sign of her pregnancy yet. At least there was no physical sign. But somehow Kathryn felt different just by knowing that there was a life growing inside her. Pregnant. I'm pregnant. The thought echoed in her mind. She still hadn't really realised that she was going to have a baby. Yes, she had told the Doctor she wasn't surprised because all the symptoms she had experienced the past few weeks had been so typical. But she was amazed, overwhelmed. I'm going to be a mother. Kathryn smiled happily at the thought. She had always wanted to have kids, some day. But Starfleet, commanding a vessel and being assigned to different and sometimes long missions didn't give her the time for a family of her own. And still, she had always had this hope within her. Then, when her crew had been flung to the Delta Quadrant, this hope had been taken away from her. And now everything had changed again.

She had to tell Chakotay. But how would he react to the news? Of course they had talked about the fact that people wanted to start families and that there would probably be children aboard Voyager. It was almost inevitable. But those discussions always remained on the professional level. They had never talked about having children of their own. Kathryn knew that Chakotay would make a great father but did he want any children? She wasn't sure what to do if he didn't. It was her fault that she was pregnant, after all. Why? There was no need to search for exotic reasons. She had simply forgotten her contraceptives. That's all there was to it, that and nothing more. Usually female crewmembers would receive their contraceptives from the Doctor in Sickbay. But since Kathryn was always very busy, the Doctor had agreed to provide her with a hypospray so she needn't go to Sickbay every time.

Kathryn sighed again. A glance over at her desk told her that there was a lot of work waiting for her. So she returned to her workplace and tried to become engrossed in the reports again. This time, she was more successful.

-----

Slowly his mind left the state of sleep. His eyes still closed, he noticed a constant humming. Somehow it sounded quite familiar but there were other memories he wanted to indulge in right now. He remembered the wonderful dream he had had last night. Catherine had been back and they had spent a most wonderful night together.

It had been only ten weeks since she had died but the dreams of her and the dreams with her were still haunting him. But this time they had seemed more real than ever before. If he didn't know it wasn't possible he had said that she had actually been here. But it couldn't be. He knew it was impossible, and yet he had had the strangest feeling that she had actually been with him.

Suddenly another thought popped up in his mind. Why was it so quiet here? He remembered telling Kes the day before that she didn't need to baby-sit little Chloe today because he would take a day off. And usually Chloe woke him early in the morning when Kes wasn't around yet. Chloe! He sat up with a start and opened his eyes. A quite futuristic looking room welcomed him. The strange thing about it was that the surroundings seemed so very familiar. But why?

He got up from the bed and grabbed the pants lying next to him on the floor. The more he walked around in the room the more of the memories came back. This was a crewman's quarters on Voyager! But how was this possible? How had he got here?

Chapter 5

"Bridge to Mr Chakotay!"

Tuvok's even voice interrupted his thoughts. Jack realised a second later what must have happened. But there was no time to think it over properly now. He turned on his heel and found his combadge lying on Catherine's bedside table. He tapped the little device to activate it and after the chirp had informed him that the comlink was established he answered the Security Chief's call.

"Chakotay here." How unusual it was to use his given name again. He had got so used to Jack in the past two years that he felt almost awkward to use it again. But it sounded good after all, somehow right.

"Commander, the staff meeting will commence in ten minutes," the calm Vulcan's voice informed him. Tuvok was one of the few people who hadn't undergone a major change in their personalities when they had been stranded in the twentieth century.

"I'll be there," Jack confirmed and broke the comlink. He had never been late for any staff meetings. He scanned the room for his uniform and found it in a heap on the floor next to the sofa. A grin spread on his face. So last night hadn't been a dream at all ...

Hastily, he struggled with the uniform. In his hurry he didn't realise that it still fitted him, although he had lost a lot of weight after Catherine's death. In Catherine's ... No, it must be Kathryn's, he corrected himself ... bathroom he found a second tooth-brush which he supposed to be Chakotay's. So the two of them were a couple here, too, and had been so for quite a while. It was kind of relieving to know that. It would certainly make things easier. Still, he replicated another tooth-brush, which he then discarded into the recycler. He gave himself a lick and a promise and strode off to join the others on the Bridge on time.

The entire way up to the Bridge he hid the smile of his delight behind his First Officer's face. Jack was surprised how easily he managed to put it on. He hadn't used it in what seemed to be a lifetime. He greeted the crew on the Bridge with a nod and headed for the meeting room. However well he had managed to hide from the other crew, he failed when he got to see Kathryn again. His heart almost stopped beating and he had to draw in a sharp breath. Fists clenched at his sides he had a hard time not to run for her and gather her in a tight embrace.

"Ah, there you are, Commander. Let's get started then," Kathryn greeted him with a nod, all captain again, as if last night hadn't happened. He wondered whether the crew knew about their two commanding officers' romantic relationship. Jack had to pull himself together not to look more at her than fitted the First Officer. So he started to scrutinise the others. The Doc was there, and thanks to his mobile holo-emitter, he hadn't changed. Then there was Neelix, literally hanging on Kathryn's every word, as always. Jack couldn't blame him for that, he himself was as spellbound by her personality as well after all. Tom Paris was sitting at his usual place. Jack didn't believe his eyes. Was there really a black pin attached to his collar next to his two golden Lieutenant's? You made him Lieutenant Commander then, Kathryn? He certainly must have worked hard for it, Jack thought. B'Elanna was there as well. She wore her hair longer, but it suited her very well. What the hell is she playing with? the stranger thought. When she stopped playing with it he realised it was a ring. A simple golden band, a wedding ring. Only then he recognised the same ring at Tom's finger. Jack had to suppress an amused smile. He had never ever thought the two of them could become friends, let alone lovers and a married couple. There's certainly happened a lot in this last two years, Jack couldn't but admit. But he didn't like the thought very much because it meant he would have to be careful, very careful if he didn't want to be discovered by putting his foot in it. Tuvok hadn't changed at all. The calm centre of the Bridge. Obviously he had been promoted Lieutenant Commander as well. Jack could get used to this thought more easily. Harry still looked the same as well. He would always be the kid among the senior staff. He was handsome, no doubt about it, but he looked so young. Too young. He shouldn't be out here, none of them should be out here.

Only then he noticed a face he didn't know. A tall blonde woman with a strange kind of jewellery over her left brow and at her right ear. She had pulled her hair back into a French roll so that her powerful jaw-line was pronounced impressively. Jack didn't like her eyes, let alone the language of them. They were cold, emotionless. In contrast to her Tuvok was a passionate man. Her full lips were attractive, he couldn't deny that. But there was nothing erotic about them or the rest of her body. According to his taste the woman's form was much too voluptuous which was even pronounced by the silver-grey jump-suit that melted to her body as though it were a second skin. Who the hell is this woman? he wondered. He would have lots of homework to do, later.

"Commander!?" This time it was Kathryn's voice that interrupted his thoughts.

"Pardon, Captain?" he almost jumped.

"Is there anything wrong with you this morning? You seem distracted," Kathryn pointed out.

"I'm sorry, Captain. Actually I don't feel very well this morning," Jack lied.

"Can I be of any assistance to you, Commander?" Doc asked.

"That's not necessary, Doc. But thanks anyway. I think I just didn't get much sleep last night," he added, casting a side-glance at Kathryn. She didn't turn a hair.

"I suggest you take a nap, Commander," Doc said. Kathryn nodded. "There isn't really much going on these days, Commander."

Jack was relieved. He could well use the time to do some research on what had happened. He was curious about that strange woman.

After the end of the meeting he stayed until the rest of the staff had left the room. He had to talk to Kathryn. He stood and joined her at the viewport.

"Kathryn," he said, putting his hands on her tiny shoulders, making her turn around with this gesture.

"Chakotay, last night was ... incredible. It was wonderful," she beamed at him with all her love. She didn't know how much he had missed her ever since she ...

No, it wasn't her who died after Chloe's birth. It was Catherine, the Kathryn of another timeline, a timeline in which they got stranded in the twentieth century after their adventure with Henry Starling. This had been future's end as well as it was the start to a new -- and for quite a lot of them -- better life, compared to their odyssey in the Delta Quadrant. Even if this new life meant that it was a hard fact that they would never get back home.

"Yes, it was, my love," he said softly.

"No wonder you didn't get enough sleep, but it just doesn't seem like you that you're that tired from it," she smiled wickedly. She and Catherine were so very much alike each other. But then they had once been one and the same person, hadn't they?

"I'm not really that tired, you know," Jack whispered seductively. "I was being distracted. By you."

"I can tell that. But we'll have to wait until this evening. I have to tell you something," she announced secretively.

"Oh, have you?" he teased her and kissed her on the mouth. Jack had intended this kiss to be hard and demanding, but he couldn't help but enjoy her velvety lips, their softness and their coffee-taste. If only he could tell her how much he had missed her.

When they separated again, Kathryn gasped: "Let's wait until tonight, okay?"

-----

"So there's nothing we can do at this point of time?" Chakotay asked Kes after she had contacted Voyagers' Base in Canada.

"I'm afraid so. You know, the guys from Stellar Cartography have access to the observatory only twice a week. Today it's Tuesday so we have to wait until Thursday night. I'm so sorry, I wished there was more we could do to help you," she apologised. She got up again and poured herself some more coffee.

Chakotay nodded. "It's okay Kes, really. Maybe you could tell me little about my future in the past?" He added with a wistful, crooked smile on his face. Earlier, when Kes had contacted Voyagers' Astronomic Society, formerly known as Stellar Cartography, they had put Chloe in her carry cot. Chakotay watched her examine and play with a mobile that was hanging from the rim of the hood. Somehow the child realised his watching her and she looked at him wide eyed, smiling at him with her toothless grin. She had inherited his eye-colour but he knew that when she grew older she would have exactly her mother's eyes. He managed to smile back at the child that was and was not his. After all that Seska had done to him he hadn't been sure whether he wanted to actually have children of his own one day. Sure, these children would be planned and made in love with the woman he desired.

Two months ago, Kathryn had opened herself to him, had finally confessed her feelings for him. They had been so happy together. And the best thing was that the crew supported them. They always had, even before there had been a real relationship between them. Of course nobody wanted to admit it, but there had been a betting pool going on ever after New Earth. Chakotay grinned. There was no doubt about as to who had called the betting pool into life and thank God he had been able to hide it from Kathryn so far.

And then, only about a month ago, they had taken the last step. Their first night together had been the most extraordinary experience. Never before had he had such a passionate and giving a lover as Kathryn Janeway. She had given herself to him like he had given himself to her. Their first lovemaking had been so overwhelming that they had both cried afterwards, he had never done this before, at least not because of sheer happiness and feeling of unity, wholeness and utter peace. And love. He had never felt so complete in his life before and he hoped that it was the same with her. No, he didn't hope. He knew. He knew the instant he had looked intp her eyes.

Chakotay didn't know anything about the love story of Jack and Catherine, but he took it that it hadn't been that difficult for them. Catherine didn't have her responsibility and code of honour as a Starfleet Captain to hide her feelings behind anymore. It obviously hadn't taken them a long time to become a couple for the proof of their love was grinning and squealing with delight at him.

But now this child didn't have a mother any more. And her father didn't have the other half of his soul any more.

He felt arms encircling his shoulders from behind and it was Kes who was waking him from his musings. Gently she whispered in his ear: "Jack ... Chakotay, I know how you must be feeling. Maybe it will help if I told you a little bit about Jack and Catherine?"

Chakotay reached for the young woman's arms around him and padded them. "I think that would be a good idea. There are so many things I would like to know," he allowed thankfully.

"Let's go to the living room then. It's much more comfortable there," she suggested and let him go. She gently lifted the carry cot and carried Chloe to the living-room.

They hadn't even settled into the sofa when somebody knocked on the front door. "Oh no, I'm sorry. Here, can you take her for a while?" Kes sighed and settled the child on her father's lap. The little one snuggled into his huge arms. This she did with such utter trust that Chakotay felt almost overwhelmed. Strictly speaking, he was a stranger. Most of all, however, he was again surprised how natural it felt to hold her. She was so tiny, yet perfect, and it was hardly believable that she would one day grow into a woman very similar to her mother.

Chakotay looked around the room. It was big and bright with light pouring in through the glass doors. There was a fire place with dozens of pictures on the mantelpiece. With Chloe in his arms he rose to take a closer look at the small gallery. The photos had been taken by themselves as well as by professional photographers and were neatly, yet casually arranged in frames of different sizes and styles. There was their wedding-photo, pictures of the crew, a brand-new picture of Chloe, a picture with Jack and Chloe in his arms. Chakotay was unsettled by the sadness in Jack's eyes, and the tender love with which he cradled his daughter. A candle was sitting next to Kathryn's picture. It was a perfect snap shot, and she looked as beautiful as ever.

The bookcases were cluttered with all sorts of books, most of them being science books and classics. He turned around as far as possible and noticed a huge painting on the wall behind him. It was hanging above a chest of drawers. Chakotay froze. There was no doubt about the artist and her subject. Instantaneously he realised it was one of Kathryn's portraying the clearing on New Earth.

Chakotay was so lost in the picture he didn't realise the babble of voices in the hall. Their clearing. How happy they had been there, their love growing slowly but steadily. His Angry Warrior Tale came back to his mind and he had to smile.

"Hey, Jack, howya doin'?"

The voice that brought him back to reality was all too familiar. It was ...

"Tom Paris!" Chakotay said, somehow delighted to see the former sandy haired pilot of Voyager.

"Hello, Commander," Daniel said, uncertain how to address him. Kes had told him and Rain about what had happened, yet it still needed time for it to sink in. He had wished for Jack to change ever since Catherine's death, but this was too drastic. And it was strange to hear his former name again. It was the name of a past he rather forgot.

"I'm sorry, did I say anything wrong?"

"No, not at all," Daniel hurried to say. "I guess it's just a little strange for us, that's all."

"I guess so," Chakotay nodded. "I think it would be best if you told me one or the other thing then, before I make a real mess by putting my foot in it."

"Great idea," Tom agreed. He sat in one of the armchairs. Only then did Chakotay notice the woman accompanying Tom ... Daniel. It was Rain Robinson, the young lady who had detected Voyager in Earth's orbit. He wasn't sure how to address her, but the mere fact that she obviously was with T ... Daniel was enough to tell him that she knew.

"Hello," he greeted the astronomer.

"I'm still Rain Robinson," the young woman informed him smiling warmly and took a seat next to him.

-----

"We must immediately inform Miss LaTorre and Mr Kim," Tuvok decided when the monitor of his computer had gone blank again. The news Kes had told him were of utmost priority now. They had to find a solution as soon as possible, before Chakotay could destroy their new lives and identities. Too many lives were at stake here.

The Bolian Ensign nodded. "Yes, Sir. But it'll take me a while to find out about their whereabouts," he informed the Vulcan. Their scanners couldn't work at long range for danger of being detected by any governmental institutions. Although they had modified their combadges, not only in their design but also in their signal patterns, it would take them about 6.73 minutes to locate the members of Voyager living Outsides, as they had come to call those crew who led normal lives.

"Very well, Mr Cotya. Meanwhile I will try to rearrange this week's schedule for the VAS meeting at the observatory. I hope that the launch of a shuttle for further investigations will not be necessary," Tuvok told his aide. He had come to trust him in the past two years. Cotya, a former Maquis with basic Starfleet training, had been one of the few who had accepted Captain Janeway almost immediately after the Caretaker Incident six years ago. He proved to be very reliable and loyal and was Tuvok's first choice to make him his aide. Captain Janeway had left him in command of the crew who preferred to live in The Woods. But now she was dead. He still couldn't believe it.

Pushing away those dark thoughts, he contacted the manager of the observatory via phone. Inefficient ancient device, especially in winter or during storms when the telephone links were most likely to break down. Mobile phones didn't work here most of the time because of the bad infrastructure.

"Sir, Miss LaTorre is currently in Assuan, Egypt, to inspect the dam and Mr Harrison is in London with The Ensemble. He's actually in a concert right now," Cotya informed him. "I suggest I contact him as soon as the concert's over. Miss LaTorre is going to call back later."

"That will do, thank you," Tuvok said, returning to his own conversation with the manager's secretary. "Yes, I will wait, thank you, Miss."

Chapter 6

Kathryn and Jack left the conference room together. They were all captain and commander again. Kathryn made her way across the Bridge, heading towards her office. There had been nothing but calm space ahead for the past few weeks. So she wasn't really needed that much on the Bridge. Voyager's captain was glad about that. This way she had more time to herself and could work on some of her personal science projects in the privacy of her Ready Room.

Jack's eyes followed Kathryn's beautiful frame until she had disappeared in her office. Only then he allowed himself to slide into the waiting turbo lift to leave the Bridge. He had noticed she had looked tired as well. It probably hadn't been obvious to anyone else who had been in the conference room only minutes ago. Kathryn was a master when it came to hiding her fatigue from others, she had had years of training at the Academy. Jack had spent five years at the side of this woman, he had even shared his life with her for the last few ones. So he knew that tired look and the expression in her eyes only too well. It made her blue eyes sparkle like diamonds.

Once again Jack caught himself thinking about Kathryn as though she were his Catherine. She wasn't and yet she was. Everything was so confusing but he still felt as if he were in heaven. All the things he had experienced those past few hours seemed like a dream, it was so wonderful to be with her again. To look at her, to touch her, to smell her. May it last forever ...

It was wonderful to be back, but there was Chloe he had to think about, too. Kes wouldn't come until later that morning. Jack hoped he could rely on the balance of the universes theory that suggested that Chakotay of this Voyager had taken his place back on Earth. He smiled because he knew how overwhelming the experience must be for him.

The turbolift had taken Jack to Deck 5 where some of the crew's and the captain's quarters were located. It seemed only logical to build the captain's private rooms as close to the Bridge as possible. In case of an emergency it was important that the commanding officer of a vessel reach the Bridge quickly.

The way from the turbolift to Kathryn's quarters wasn't very long. The hallway was empty at this time of the day. It was almost noon. Crewmembers were either on duty or having lunch in the mess hall. And those who had been on the night shift were peacefully asleep in their beds, dreaming of home.

Having arrived in front of the door to the quarters, Jack hesitated for a moment. Taking a deep breath he entered the access code into the small interface panel on the wall to his right. The door slid open with the all too familiar sound and Jack entered the room. Being lost in his thoughts, Jack didn’t realise that he’d used his old security code to override the door lock.

The light of the distant stars illuminated the room dimly. Shadows were forming strange shapes on the floor and the walls. "Lights", Jack instructed the computer. The computer complied immediately and the shadows disappeared at once. Only then did Jack realise that he had entered not his but Kathryn's quarters. He could simply have gone to his -- no, Chakotay's -- quarters for they were only located next door. But having been two years away from this ship, he felt like a stranger. It wasn't really his home anymore, twentieth century Earth had become his new home. Somehow it was odd. When Jack had been on Voyager he had never thought that he would ever consider a place other than Voyager his home again. Now he held on to what was familiar. Ever since he had woken up here on Voyager, he hadn't been in his former quarters and really wasn't yet ready to go there.

Jack let his thoughts slip away and made his way over to the replicator. "Coffee with cream, two sugars." Seconds later a cup with the steaming fluid materialised in front of him and the smell of coffee began to fill the room. Jack closed his eyes and inhaled the aroma of the beverage. He had never been much of a coffee drinker which was an inexplicable phenomenon to a lot of his friends. They couldn't imagine not to become addicted to coffee when living together with Catherine. But right now, Jack was in need of something stronger than tea.

Sipping at the beverage Jack walked over to Kathryn's workspace and sat down behind the desk. He put the cup carefully down and reached out for the terminal. He hesitated. Jack could feel his cheeks becoming warmer. Was he blushing? The expression on his face turned from confused to amused. He couldn't help but laugh out loud. In the past two years Jack had got used to the fact that verbal interfaces weren't part of twentieth century daily life. Computers still had to be switched on and off manually and commands were entered by a keyboard or a device called mouse. It was amazing how easily humans adapted to their environment.

"Computer, access the central database file of the USS Voyager," Jack instructed the computer and withdrew his hand from the terminal, the amused expression remaining on his face.

It didn’t take him long to get used to twenty-fourth century computer technology again. Jack wasn’t quite sure where to begin his research. So he decided to check out Chakotay’s duty roster first. It had been his task to organise the ship's duty rotations for years, but now he had trouble finding the file in which the information was stored. It seemed as though there hadn’t only been changes in the crew. B’Elanna must have reorganised the ship’s data bases as well. But after a few minutes of skilful search Jack had found what he was looking for. The duty roster told him that Voyager’s First Officer was off duty the whole day. This allowed him to catch up with the past now.

Jack wondered about that woman in the silvery jump-suit he had seen at the meeting this morning. Who was she? Perhaps Voyager was doing business with an alien species who provided them with food stuffs? But then again, Voyager wasn't in orbit of a planet. The best place to start his inquiry was the crew manifest, Jack decided.

It took him a while to locate the personal file of ... Seven of Nine? What kind of a name was that? Intrigued, Jack started reading the database entry. The information in the public crew manifest wasn't very detailed. The more delicate crew files were accessible only with security codes. But for the moment Jack decided to stick with the public version.

After a while of intense study Jack leaned back in the chair and sighed deeply. A Borg? One of Voyager's crew members was a former Borg? The file hadn't revealed much. It only said that her link had been severed from the collective during an encounter with the Borg and an alien people called Species 8472 and that the Captain had decided to keep her on board. There was also a note from the Doctor in the file. It stated that due to the severed link to the Borg collective Seven of Nine's body had begun to reject the Borg implants and that the Doctor was currently attempting to restore her human DNA.

Jack had to admit that he was getting really curious about the more detailed information of Voyager's most recent addition to the crew.

"Computer, access personnel file of crewmember Seven of Nine, high level information."

"Level 1 security clearance is required to access the requested data. Please enter authorisation code," Jack heard the ship's computer say.

"Chakotay, lambda one nine zero". Jack was surprised that he still remembered his various security codes although he hadn't used them in two years.

"Unable to comply. This first level security clearance is outdated. Please enter current code." Jack mentally slapped himself. Of course! How could he have expected to find all the codes still active after such a long time? Shipbased codes were changed in regular intervals which was the job of the ship's security chief. The only codes not being changed automatically were those of the crewmember's quarters. They needed to be adjusted by the quarters' owners themselves. In the earlier days of Starfleet, codes had needed to be changed more often than nowadays. The systems hadn't been equipped with voice recognition programs. Now it was of no real use to just know the clearance because the computer also verified the voice patterns of the code's owner.

Jack paused for a moment. He needed to think about how to proceed. Sitting at Kathryn's workspace, face buried deeply in his soft and yet strong hands, it hit him like lightening in a heavy thunderstorm. He felt a flush rising in his cheeks and there was the feeling of shame and guilt rising inside of him. What am I doing? A sudden realisation settled in. The realisation that he was sneaking around behind the backs of his friends, his beloved ones. The scanning of personnel files and the tapping through the databases was only the top of the iceberg. He was literally betraying Kathryn as well as all the others. Ever since the moment he had discovered that he was on Voyager again he had pretended to be Chakotay, the First Officer of Voyager. Well, of course he was Chakotay but not the Chakotay who belonged here. He hadn't even seriously asked himself how he had got here in the first place. He had been so caught in enthusiasm that he hadn't noticed what he was doing. He had let himself be blinded by the overwhelming joy of being reunited with his beloved Catherine again. These feelings hadn't allowed him to think straight and rationally these past few hours.

And where was the other Chakotay, the one who belonged here? Jack didn't think he was here on the ship. If he had been on Voyager he would have come to the senior staff meeting this morning and Tuvok wouldn't have had to summon him.

Catherine -- the mere thought of her name made him feel even more guilty because with his actions he had not only betrayed the crew of this ship but also his late wife. Of course it was only natural that he was feeling overjoyed when thinking of being with his love again. But somehow this explanation didn't make him feel better. Jack yelled at his inner self for not having told Kathryn who he really was the moment he had first learned the truth. He had been so happy that the thought of how wrong his behaviour was hadn't occurred to him.

I must tell her, no matter what. But how should he do that -- after all that had already happened? I can't just go up to the Bridge and say "Hi, my name is Jack O'Tay. I'm not the Chakotay you think I am". I can't do this, Jack continued the struggle with his conscience.

Jack was desperate, not knowing what exactly to do to get out of his misery, a situation into which he had manoeuvred himself.

Jack raised his head from the comfort of his supporting hands. His eyes caught the sight of some kind of bundle lying on a bookshelf nearby. It appeared to be made of some sort of animal skin. It must be Kathryn's medicine bundle, Jack sighed in relief. Perhaps his animal guide was able to give him some advice. Carefully he reached out for the bundle and walked over to the empty space in the middle of Kathryn's quarters.

After he had made himself comfortable, sitting cross-legged on the floor, he opened the bundle slowly and began to arrange the items of it in front of him.

Jack remembered the day he had introduced Kathryn to her personal guide. It had been a time when their memories had still been the same. After Kathryn's first journey into the spirit world she had asked him to help her create her own bundle. But Chakotay -- he had still been Chakotay back then -- had explained to her the importance of doing it all by herself. The medicine bundle was a mere help to make the transition into the spirit realm easier. But in order to be able to enter one's personal spirit world, the items had to be of personal importance. She had only smiled at him, her own way of saying thank you. But she had never actually shown him her bundle afterwards.

Jack was staring at the few items before him. There was a dark stone. Its round and smooth shape made it appealing. There was no doubt about it that it was a stone from a river, eroded by years of running water. New Earth, Jack knew it. The stone had to be from the river near the shelter they had lived in. A faint smile brightened his face while clinging to the happy memory.

There were a few other items in the bundle Jack didn't recognise. Kathryn must have added them after the Starling incident. But all Jack needed at the moment was the akunah. He had much experience in entering the world of his ancestors and spirits. So he was able to do it without having all items of his own medicine bundle with him.

Jack drew in a deep breath, put his hand onto the device now lying in front of him and closed his eyes eventually.

"Akoochemoya... I am far away from the places of my grandfathers, far away from the bones of my people. I'm here to seek advice ..."

-----

After the senior staff meeting that morning Captain Janeway had returned to the secure surroundings of her Ready Room. There was still a pile of padds waiting for her on her desk. Most of them were routine reports from all over the ship. And there was one from B'Elanna, reporting the progress of the warp drive improvements the Engineering team was working on. This time it had been easier for Kathryn to concentrate on work than earlier this morning.

Deeply lost in thought on B'Elanna's report, Kathryn jumped when the chime at her door announced someone was asking to enter the room.

"Come."

When Ensign Harry Kim entered his captain's office he found her sitting at her desk, looking at him questioningly. "Ensign, what can I do for you?"

"It's 1300 hours, Captain. I've finished the report you asked me for, about the anomaly we crossed last night," the young Ensign replied. The captain's reaction made him unsure whether he had misunderstood the time the report was supposed to be due.

"It's already one o'clock? I must have completely lost track of time," Kathryn said. An almost unnoticeable sigh of relief escaped Harry.

"Please have a seat, Mr Kim, and let's see what you have for me, shall we?" Kathryn pointed at the chair in front of her desk. The young Ensign thanked her with a smile and sat down.

"I've transmitted all the relevant data to your terminal." Kim reached out for the small computer on Kathryn's desk and turned it so that both of them had a good view at the screen. Harry found the datafile containing the information he intended beginning with and had it displayed on the small screen.

"These are the results of the analysis of the distortion." Captain Janeway scanned the text and calculations Kim had put together for her. "When I first began to analyse the information gathered by the scans, I had this déjà vu feeling. I knew I had seen something very similar before," Harry continued with his report.

Kathryn stopped reading and turned her head to glance at Kim who was beaming with excitement. Kathryn smiled inwardly. She remembered her own early years as a science officer when she had been assigned to various missions. She knew the excitement Harry probably was feeling at the moment and silently thanked him for making her remember.

"It took me a while to find the data in the scanner logs. This is what I found..." Kim's fingers moved deftly across the input panel on the computer and moments later the contents of a second file appeared on the screen. It didn't need much expertise to recognise the similarities in the readings.

Kathryn stared at the information in disbelief.

"Ensign, is this what I think it is?" she asked Harry. The question was of a more rhetorical nature because she instantly had recognised the information being displayed.

"Yes, Captain. The anomaly we crossed last night has almost the same characteristics as the temporal rift created by Captain Braxton and his timeship about two years ago. The rift which had us flung back to Los Angeles of 1996."

Kathryn sighed deeply, her back searching for the support of the chair's back-rest. The expression on her face told the young Ensign that she was anything but pleased with this new piece of information. Harry knew about her dislike of timetravel and all its other manifestations.

"Okay, now let's compare those two events," Captain Janeway said after a short moment of silence. "The big difference between this incident and the one with Captain Braxton is that this time we don't seem to have been affected by the temporal distortion. We didn't get pulled out of our space-time-continuum nor were any of the ship's systems compromised. That leads to the question: what was different this time?"

"I may have an explanation for this, Captain." Again, the Ensign played with the panel in front of him. "These are the more detailed results of the distortion's characteristics," Harry drew his captain's attention to the small screen and pointed at a particular reading. "You will notice one significant difference between the data from last night and the data from almost two years ago."

"The graviton matrix," Kathryn whispered.

"Exactly. The time rift Captain Braxton created had had a graviton matrix which indicated that it was artificial. And it was the graviton distortion created by the matrix which pulled us into the rift. Since last night's distortion doesn't indicate a graviton matrix, it must have been a natural phenomenon. And it was also much smaller than Braxton's. This is probably the reason why none of our ship's systems were affected," Harry paused. "Well, almost none."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kathryn asked the young Ensign sitting in front of her, her voice sounding slightly concerned.

"Since this temporal rift was much smaller, it didn't have the power to affect the whole ship. This doesn't mean it had no temporal shifting characteristics at all. I didn't notice this right away, but there are a few sections in which the distortion might have affected the surroundings," Kim hesitated, unsure how to continue. Kathryn, now definitely concerned, looked at him "Which sections of the ship?"

"Sections 21 Alpha through 3 Beta on decks 3,4 and 5 ... including your quarters, Captain."

Chapter 7

"So you simply woke up this morning and you were here? What's happened to Jack then?" Daniel inquired.

"We don't know," Chakotay said, shrugging. "But I take it that if we find a way to get me back into my timeline, he'll return here."

"Yeah, I should think so, too. There were enough reports about the mixing up of timelines like this. But we can't already tell what's happened in particular, can we?" Daniel thought out loudly. This would turn out to be an adventure like they had had when they were still cruising space aboard Voyager. Ever since their running aground two years ago life had been secure and tranquil, undisturbed by any Kazon or Vidiians, in short it had been boring. Of course they had had to do an awful lot of things before their settling down, but once they had moved into their little houses and had worked out the details of their history as inhabitants of twentieth century Earth, there hadn't happened anything exciting. Excitement from a twenty-fourth century point of view of course. Daniel didn't mean to dress their new lives down, too many wonderful things had happened -- with one exception, Catherine's death.

Sometimes Daniel missed the old times, missed flying a spaceship like Voyager. Flying a spaceship was none like flying a Cessna, however exciting that could be at times. Daniel longed for some real adventure.

"No. I've already informed Tuvok, but VAS won't meet again until Thursday. We have to wait until then, I'm afraid," Kes regretted.

"I see. I'm so sorry for you, Chakotay," Daniel said and padded the older man's shoulder compassionately. Chakotay wondered how often Jack had been clapped on the shoulder ever since Catherine's death.

"Thank you," he smiled.

"Well, I think we had better leave the two of you alone," Rain decided. "I'm sure you want to know everything about your life here, don't you?" She was about to get up and flashed Chakotay an encouraging smile.

"Yeah, sure. I think you can tell us everything about life on Voyager during the flight to Canada," Daniel nodded and got up.

"Our flight to Canada?" Chakotay asked in surprise.

"Sure. If there's a way to bring you back, I think it'll be necessary for you to meet Tuvok. All the equipment is in the Wood," Daniel explained.

Chakotay nodded. Then they got up and went to the front door, when Chakotay realised that the two of them must have come to his place on purpose. "Listen, I don't know what our plans were for today, I hope I didn't mess everything up?"

"No, not at all," Daniel said reassuringly. "We've just planned a picnic. Nothing we couldn't do any other day."

"Sure?"

"Perfectly," Daniel nodded. "So, give us a ring if there's anything new, okay?"

-----

"My quarters," Kathryn repeated absentmindedly. "That means that the temporal rift could have affected ... " she didn't dare to finish the sentence. Up to now her relationship with Chakotay had been a secret, but now she saw no possibility left to deal with the entire affair discretely. On the other hand she trusted Harry, she was sure that he wouldn't shop them, despite the considerable betting pool that was still up and running.

"It could have affected you, Captain," Harry finished the sentence for with what he thought she had wanted to say.

Kathryn smiled feebly. The kid didn't realise anything for that she could have hugged him. Or was he just being discrete, maybe even embarrassed? Kathryn knew that to him she had been something like a mother ever since they had got stranded in the Delta Quadrant. She herself knew very well that the idea of the parents making love to each other often embarrassed children, even in times when they were told the facts of life without much ado. Maybe it had become too clinical, she didn't know. What she knew was that she had had similar feelings about her parents when she had been a kid. But then Harry was in his mid -- twenties ... he was sweet in his innocence.

"No, Harry. I'm alright. If the temporal rift affected me you would already know that, let alone me myself," Kathryn shook her head. Harry realised her lugubrious smile. He wasn't stupid. Although he didn't know exactly what had been going on between Janeway and Chakotay in all those years, he was sure that there was more than a professional relationship going on between the two of them. But he was too polite -- and maybe even a little too self-conscious -- as to ask her what was going on. Harry was sure that she would tell him if she felt like telling him. An Ensign was not to put his nose into business that wasn't his, especially when it came to his commanding officers. Especially if it was as difficult a situation as theirs.

"Harry, I trust you to deal with this matter confidentially," Kathryn began. She waited for Harry's affirmative nod, then she continued. "The Commander and I are romantically involved. We spent last night together in my quarters. So although the temporal rift hasn't affected me, it might have affected Commander Chakotay."

It was out then. She had said it. For an instant or two she had the impression as if Harry flushed, but she trusted him to deal with this as decently as possible at the moment. It hadn't been easy for her to break the news and finally tell somebody about her romantic relationship with Chakotay.

"Oh," he said. And after he had regained his speech, he added, all business at once, "well, I suggest the Doctor examine the Commander to see whether he has been affected."

Kathryn smiled. "Yes, I think that would be the best way to proceed." She had to know. Last night was incredible. She had had second thoughts about Chakotay's sudden passion. Of course had he always been passionate, but as she had thought before, she had felt as if he had loved her as if he hadn't seen her in a long time. There had been hidden something like desperation behind his passion. Kathryn had the strange feeling that the anomaly had affected Chakotay.

But why hadn't he told her anything then? Why did she realise only now that something had been wrong? And why was she glad that she hadn't told him about her pregnancy yet?

So many questions.

Kathryn decided that it be best if she asked him herself instead of having Harry do it. The matter was too serious as to leave it in a third person's hands -- even if they were as able as Harry's. It was too private a matter. When she told Harry about her decision, she didn't have the impression as if he were disappointed that she had taken the matter into her own hands. On the contrary, a hint of relief flashed across the youthful face of the Asian ensign.

"Yes, Ma'am. If you need any help, I would be glad to help."

Kathryn nodded in appreciation. The kid was just sweet.

-----

"I hope I'm not being a spoilsport," Chakotay muttered after Daniel and Rain had left the three of them alone.

Kes sighed. It wasn't like her to tell people frankly what she was thinking, but with Chakotay she thought that it may be the right thing to do. "You know, Chakotay, Jack hasn't been quite like himself lately. Ever since Catherine died, we were hardly able to lure him out of his shell."

Chakotay nodded. He knew all too well what Kes was talking about. "You have to understand him, Kes. If he's still being like me, you know ... I love Kathryn very much, and I'm sure that it was the same with Jack and Catherine. You can't fault him."

"Oh, please don't get me wrong, Chakotay. I would be the last to find any fault with Jack's reaction. It's just so hard ... for all of us. I don't deny that it's him who's having the hardest time of all, but he won't accept our help and our compassion. I'm perfectly aware that he knows that we are suffering too, but ..." Kes tried to explain.

Following a sudden impulse, Chakotay gathered her in a tight embrace. He knew very well what she was going to tell him. He had never seen Kes lost for words before. "We are proud and deeply in love."

Kes smiled and returned his embrace. How good -- and right, above all -- it felt to hug Chakotay in this way. She had never hugged the big man that consciously, that intensively, before. He was right, both Jack and Chakotay were very proud and would never admit their feelings to anyone else but Kathryn or Catherine. Both of them were very private men, both so deep in love that they thought they were the only ones in the world to have feelings that strong. It wasn't egotistical, on the contrary. Kes felt the same for Neelix, and so were Daniel and Rain and all the other couples. It was the most natural thing in the world.

"Yes, you are. I would be so glad if I could help you, if only you let me. And so will be the others," Kes whispered.

"I know. But I think Jack's still hurting too much. One day he'll let you in, just be patient with him," Chakotay explained. It was strange to talk of himself in that way and yet not talk about himself. However, it was the right thing to do, this wasn't shopping Jack. Then he broke the embrace.

"Kes, I would be glad if you told me a little bit about our lives here."

"I'd just like you to know that this is not easy for me either. I don't mean to intrude on Catherine's and Jack's privacy," Kes began, suddenly a bit self-conscious about what she had offered the visitor from another space and time earlier. She knew very well that both Catherine and Jack were very private persons. According to her memories and logic she also knew that Chakotay and Kathryn too were very private; maybe even more so as they still lived in the small community of Voyager.

Chakotay smiled one of his most charming smiles, but not as a means of persuasion. He wanted to encourage the young elfin woman with it. This was a matter going on between one and the same man. According to this, Chakotay was pretty sure that Jack wouldn't mind his knowing about his family history. Even if it was as private a matter as this. On the other hand Chakotay was convinced that Jack in turn would want to know as much as possible about life on Voyager after the Starling incident. It would be interesting to know about his reaction towards Seven of Nine.

"I'm sure Jack wouldn't mind at all," her guest said.

"Very well," Kes nodded. If he said so who was she to doubt? "It's a little bit hard to find a place to start. Maybe I should begin ... you know, after settling down here and starting new lives it became difficult for me to practice with Tuvok regularly."

Chakotay knew exactly what she meant. Back on Voyager, Tuvok had discovered Kes' highly sophisticated mental skills. She just needed tutoring and learning how to use these powers efficiently. After the Starling incident, however, she had decided to live on the Outside, and since Tuvok was given command over the settlement in the Woods they had had to discontinue their practising. Jack had soon realised that Kes missed the times she was spending with the Vulcan Chief of Security, and had offered her to introduce her to her Spirit Guide. This was nothing in comparison to the things she could learn from Tuvok, of course, but it was better than nothing at all. What's more, both Kes and Jack enjoyed their sessions very much, both of them learning a great deal form each other.

For the time being, Kes decided to show Chakotay the family's photo album first. People kept them for occasions like this among others, and Kes deemed it a good starting point. Maybe Chakotay didn't want to know about the things she thought he might ask. This was exactly what made Kes self-conscious. She would have to use Chakotay's way of meditation to show and tell him about these things. But she still was hoping she would not have to do this. The photo albums certainly were a good idea.

Kes went to one of the cluttered bookcases and pulled a big volume out of one row of similarly big volumes. She put the volume on Chakotay's knees, and he was surprised about its weight.

"I suggest you go through it and ask me whatever you'd like to know, okay?"

Chakotay looked at her for a while before he nodded, agreeing. It was so good to see Kes again. All of them were missing the young woman very much, and except for Kathryn none of them had had the chance to say good-bye to her properly.

"Chakotay?" Kes wasn't quite sure what feelings she could see in his face, particularly in his dark liquid eyes.

Chakotay was about to say something, but then he deemed it better not to tell Kes about her fate.

"Nothing, Kes, really," he lied. He wasn't sure whether the Ocampan woman bought it. If not, she disguised it well.

Chakotay opened the book containing a part of his life. The photographs on the first ten pages had been taken at various places on Earth, mostly in Europe. Chakotay knew that Kathryn loved Europe because life was so much more tranquil there than in the States. However, they had chosen San Francisco as their home. Kes told him that this was because of their loyalty towards Starfleet. Kathryn could have gone back to Indiana, the place of her birth and childhood, but she had preferred the anonymity of a city like San Francisco.

The photos showed the growing intimacy between the two of them: they were friends in France, playing pool at Sandrine's but they clearly were lovers in Italy. Chakotay could tell not only from their body language -- which was quite obvious -- but also from the expression in Kathryn's eyes. There were various photos from parties and weddings of their crew, both in the Woods as well as Outsides. Chakotay learned that Tom Paris -- or rather Daniel -- had married Rain Robinson, the young woman from the observatory who had helped them fight Henry Starling. He had to smile because he had never thought of Tom being the type to settle down and start a family. In the Delta Quadrant he had fallen in love with and married B'Elanna, but nevertheless he was still surprised. Now even more so that he knew he had married another woman. B'Elanna and he seemed a perfect match, even with their occasional fights.

As he turned to the next page he held his breath. The photos had been taken at his own wedding with Catherine Janney. Jack had actually married his former captain, something Chakotay could only dream of. Catherine looked so beautiful in her simple, narrow, white dress that reached down to her ankles. Her hair was arranged in a delicate looking style which also held her veil. She was holding a small bouquet. Her real beauty, though, she radiated from her eyes which were beaming with happiness. She was holding tight to Jack's hand, and Chakotay noticed the highlights the Californian sun caught in the simple golden band of their wedding rings. Chakotay also recognised the happiness in Jack's dark eyes. He didn't know whether his imagination was playing a trick on him, but for a second he thought he had recognised a suspicious fullness in them. To his relief he discovered that Jack had chosen to keep the dark blue lines of his tattoo on his left temple. He had grown his hair and some of the dark silvery strands were covering the mark of his tribe, but he knew that Jack was still wearing it with pride.

Chakotay kept staring at the photo. They were so happy. He almost envied the two of them for a life he and Kathryn would never be able to share. But then they were having more of a life than the happy couple after the birth of their daughter. A cold shiver ran down Chakotay's spine and he hoped that their happiness wasn't going to be as short-lived as the one in the parallel universe.

"Isn't it strange?" he mused. When he recognised Kes' puzzled look, he explained, "Life on twentieth century Earth is much less risky than life in twenty-fourth century Delta Quadrant, and yet Catherine died."

Kes nodded. "Despite the chance of dying in the Delta Quadrant is higher. That's strange indeed, yes."

Chakotay sighed at the irony being behind all of this. They had deemed themselves safe then, and yet death had cheated them. Had they been overconfident and even arrogant? No, he shook his head. He believed in the Spirit World and his tribe's God, but this didn't include fate and predestination.

"You have to tell Jack that he make Chloe remember her mother, will you?" he suddenly said.

Kes looked at him in surprise. "I'm not going to have to remind him of that. He keeps telling Chloe about her mother all the time ..."

"Yes, Catherine may be dead, but in the memories of her family she'll always live. I'm so glad to find that Jack's still so much like me, it's very relieving," Chakotay agreed. Nevertheless did he pray that he and Kathryn were going to spend the rest of their lives together. A sudden thought struck him like lightening. "Was she in pain when she died?"

Chapter 8

After Harry Kim had left his Captain's Ready Room, Kathryn didn't find back to her reports as easily as she had hoped. Chakotay, what if he had been affected by the temporal rift? Harry was right, the best thing that could be done was to let the Doc examine Chakotay right away.

"Janeway to Chakotay," she said after tapping her communicator. Silence. "Janeway to Chakotay, are you there?" Kathryn repeated. Still, only silence answered her. She felt anxiety rising in her. Maybe he's just asleep. I can't say that last night was very restful, Kathryn tried to convince herself -- with success. She smiled at the memory of their passionate lovemaking.

"Well, if the mountain doesn't come to the Prophet, the Prophet has to go to the mountain," Janeway murmured and rose from her chair. Kathryn had an appointment with B'Elanna in twenty minutes. So she might as well leave now and stop by her quarters on the way there. After nights like the past Chakotay usually didn't return to his quarters right away. Kathryn assumed that it wasn't any different this time.

Crossing the upper part of the Bridge, Janeway headed for the turbolift. She noticed Harry's looking up from his station and greeting her with a reassuring smile. Kathryn decelerated her pace and reached out for Harry's hand. Padding it twice she looked at him with a thankful smile, and then continued her way towards the turbolift. She was glad she had finally told somebody about herself and Chakotay. Well, of course they all suspected that much but it felt good to finally have told somebody about it. She knew Harry would handle the affair with the discretion necessary. Seconds later the sound of the closing turbolift doors announced that the captain of Voyager had left the Bridge.

Tom rose from his chair and walked over to Harry's station. Leaning casually against the OPS panel, he began: "Well, well, well, what was that all about?"

Harry felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

"What are you talking about, Paris?" he returned as calmly as possible.

"Oh c'mon Harry, you know what I mean?"

Damn, he knows me far too well, the ensign groaned inwardly. "No Tom, I don't know what you are talking about." Now that sounded quite self-confident. Harry had still quite some work to do on improving his self-confidence but he wasn't the green ensign anymore he had been four years ago. He deftly moved his fingers over the station panels in front of him. Ignoring Tom always seemed to be the best way to handle situations like this. Never would he divulge the matter the Captain had confided to him.

"Is there anything wrong, Mr Paris?" Tuvok asked.

"Uh, ehm, no Sir." Disappointed about the failed attempt to get some information out of Harry, the helmboy made his way back to his station.

Captain Janeway had reached the doors to her quarters. On her way down she had again tried to contact Chakotay via the comm system but he had remained silent. "I didn't know he was that exhausted," Kathryn murmured. Crewmembers passing by wondered what was amusing their Captain so much that a mischievous smile decorated her face.

Kathryn keyed in the security code to her quarters. The computer complied by opening the door moments later. When she entered the room, only the distant stars outside were providing some light. "Computer, standard illumination," she instructed the ship's electronic brain. The room lit up immediately.

"Chakotay," -- get up was what she had wanted to say. But before she was able to finish the sentence, she caught sight of him, lying in a strange, unnatural position in the middle of her living room. "Oh no, Chakotay!" she exclaimed. Having arrived at his side, she let herself fall to her knees and lifted his head. His eyes were moving rapidly beneath the closed lids, his breathing was very shallow. "Chloe, my sweet little girl ...," he mumbled almost inaudibly.

"Chakotay, wake up," Kathryn tried to bring him back from wherever he was. But even slapping his cheeks didn't help.

"Chloe ..." he whispered.

There was that unknown name again. Who was this Chloe? Kathryn was confused. But there was no time to dwell on things like that right now. She had to get Chakotay to Sickbay -- the quicker he got there the better. She didn't have a clue as to what was wrong with him, so every second was important.

She tapped her communicator. "Janeway to Kim. Two to beam directly to Sickbay!"

"Captain?" came the worried reply of the young man.

"Just do it, I'll explain later," Kathryn almost barked. The ensign did as he was ordered. And seconds later the bluish sparkle of the transporter beam engulfed the two commanding officers.

At about the same time, in another time and place, two people were experiencing a similar feeling. Kes was uncertain about the sincerity of Chakotay's question. Did he really want to know if Catherine had died in pain?

He pondered this carefully before he nodded. A deep sigh escaped Kes and she said "Very well." Then she took his big, tan hands into her small china ones. They didn't need any words to know what had to be done. They closed their eyes simultaneously. A tingly sensation spread in their bodies, emanating from their hands. Images of Kes' memory appeared in front of Chakotay's inner eye...

... Jack in the delivery room, holding Catherine's hand. She would dig her nails painfully deep into his flesh whenever a wave of pain hit her. She would try to stifle her cries behind her clenched teeth, but that only made it worse. Afterwards he would dab the perspiration from her brow and neck with a cool towel.

... Jack in the delivery room, worried because of her faraway look. Worried because she had been in treatment for eclampsia not so long ago. The doctors had declared her healthy, but what if ... Jack didn't want to pursue the thought any further. But the concerned expression on the doctor's and the midwife's faces only confirmed his suspicion.

... Jack in the delivery room, being pushed away by a nurse, as the cramps began. Catherine whimpering, shaking uncontrollably, whispering "I love you, Chakotay." He mouthing the same words to her, trying to conjure up the image of their wedding. Tears burning in his eyes ... if only the doctor could save her.

... Jack in the nursery, holding his little daughter in his arms, bottle-feeding her. A shadow was cast over his joy. Catherine had gone into a coma after their little daughter had been delivered by a c-section. The doctor didn't know whether she would ever wake again, and if ... would she be just like herself then? He was angry, too, because no one seemed ready to take over responsibility of what had happened. How could this have happened in the first place?

... Jack in the intensive care unit, cradling their daughter in one arm, while with the other holding Catherine's still hand. Two hoses went from her nose to an apparatus next to her bed that helped her breathe. She was so pale ... her eyes were open, staring at nowhere in particular. They had lost their vivacious sparkle. Another machine was monitoring her heartbeat, beeping annoyingly. "Here's our little daughter, Catherine," he introduced the baby girl in his arm. He lifted Catherine's limp hand and brushed her fingertips against the chubby cheek of their sleeping daughter. It seemed to him as if a shiver went through her at the touch, but her eyes were still not hers.

... Jack in the intensive care unit, late at night. The doctor had had him called. They were fearing the worst. Again, tears were burning in his eyes. "Don't you die on us now, Catherine," he whispered. He was holding her hand in both of his. It had always been so small in his hands, but now it seemed even more fragile. The beeping of the ECG had decreased. He brushed a tear from the corner of his eye. She looked awake, why didn't the doctor do anything? Why didn't Doc do anything? She looked peaceful, the expression in her eyes had changed ever after he had introduced their baby girl to her, at least Jack thought so. "I've decided to call her Chloe, the name you always liked best," he told her. At this, he felt her fingers squeeze his hand ever so gently. If he hadn't been so eager to memorise everything about her, he wouldn't have noticed. Tears flowed freely then. "I love you so much, Catherine," he sobbed. Then the faint but regular sine curve of the ECG changed into a flat line ...

... then the stream of images faded. Chakotay slowly opened his eyes, still overwhelmed from what he had just learned.

"Thank you, Kes," he said slowly, releasing her hands. Then he got up and turned toward the window overlooking the bay. Kes got up as well, but instead of joining him, she lifted the carry cot with sleeping Chloe in it and left Voyager's First Officer alone.

-----

Shortly after Kathryn and Jack had dematerialised in Sickbay the Doc saw to it that Jack was bedded down on the nearest biobed. "What happened?" he consulted Kathryn askance.

"I don't know. I found him like this on the floor in my living room," she returned. The Doctor lifted his eyebrow at this. But didn't he have the right to break down in the middle of his child's mother's living room? "Don't worry, Captain, I'll patch him up in no time," he reassured her with a smile, pointing at her still flat belly.

His well meant words didn't help much to calm Kathryn. She bit her lip and nodded bravely, unable to help him with anything. So she observed how the Doc started the various standard examination scans. The expression on his face didn't reveal much, as always. Was that a good sign? She didn't know.

At one point, he ordered her to wait in his office. When B'Elanna contacted the Captain over the comm system, the Doctor sighed, relieved. This meant a distraction for Kathryn, plus it bought him time to come up with an explanation.

After the very short conversation between Voyager's Captain and her Chief Engineer, Kathryn returned to the Doctor. "Have you found anything yet?"

"I'm no diagnosis machine," he replied sharply, instantly regretting his tone. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ..."

"It's al right Doctor. Now, what have you found?"

The Doctor hesitated, not knowing how to put it. He didn't quite understand it himself, but maybe there was somebody else to put the blame on. What did he know? Perhaps there had been an anomaly of sorts, but the guys on the Bridge had yet again failed to let him know?

"Unfortunately, the standard medical scans didn't provide me with any answers. There was one strange reading though. It seems as though the Commander's body is slightly out of phase."

"Out of phase?" Kathryn repeated with a furrow on her brow.

"Yes, it looks as if the atoms of his body are in some sort of temporal flux which indicates they're leaving our space-time continuum to return to their own."

Chapter 9

The distraction B'Elanna's call had provided was long since gone. It had been hours since the last spoken words could have been heard in Sickbay. The Doc had performed all different kinds of scans, had tried everything he could think of that would have brought some more light into the Commander's state. Kathryn, as stubborn as ever, had refused to leave Sickbay. But she was also only a human being and, finally, she had fallen asleep in a chair in the Doctor's office.

A clattering noise woke her some time later. She didn't know how long she had been asleep but this wasn't important now. Yawning she got up from the uncomfortable chair and walked through the door into the surgery area. She found the Doctor still busy, working on a cure for Chakotay.

"Ah, Captain, I hope you feel a little bit better now, after your rest," he said when he saw the captain entering the room. Kathryn didn't go into the Doctor's statement. It wasn't important how she was feeling right now. It was him who had to get better.

"Any change yet?" she asked instead.

"I'm sorry, no, there's no change in his condition. And frankly I'm stumped. The only thing I can tell for sure is that the reason for the Commander's unconsciousness is his body's cells being out of phase. However, I haven't found out the cause yet." The Doctor paused for a moment and continued after having thought of how to phrase his next question.

"Captain, where was the Commander when you found him? Was there anything which seemed a little odd?"

Kathryn thought about it, replayed the scene which had taken place a few hours ago in front of her inner eye. "I can't remember anything that struck me odd. Chakotay has obviously been sitting on the floor, meditating since a medicine bundle was laid out on the floor."

"Meditating ..." the Doctor repeated as though he were talking to himself, and started to pace near the biobed.

"What is it, Doctor?" Kathryn asked impatiently.

"Right from the beginning I suspected there had to be something else, this is no ordinary coma the commander is in."

"How so?" Janeway asked.

"The eyes of someone in a coma usually don't move. But when you take a closer look at the commander's eyes you will notice how they're moving rapidly beneath his closed eyelids."

Kathryn stepped closer to Chakotay's biobed. Leaning over his body she observed his face. After a few seconds she looked up at the Doctor, "... as though he's in a deep REM sleep," she stated.

"Exactly!" the Doctor confirmed. "But this doesn't make any sense. He is stable for now. But I can't tell for how long that will be. Experiences with this kind of symptoms are very rarely heard of," he continued, his voice sounding quite helpless.

"Any options?" his captain asked.

"Frankly, I'm running out of them. There's only one thing I can think of at the moment ... and believe me I can't believe even suggesting this but we shouldn't lose any more time."

"Doctor!" Kathryn interrupted him.

"I'm sorry, Captain," the Doctor said, collecting his thoughts. "The only person who might be able to find out what's going on with the commander right now is Mr Tuvok."

"Doctor, are you suggesting a mind-meld?" Kathryn asked in disbelief.

"Yes, Captain, I am. Believe me I wouldn't if I didn't think this our last option. I can't find any physical or neurological evidence for the commander's current state."

-----

Chakotay felt funny. It wasn't the news about the Catherine of this time had died, which had, of course, been unsettling as well. No, he had a funny feeling of the physical kind. The feeling reminded him of one he had experienced long ago, far too long ago. It felt as though he were in a small boat out on a lake or the sea, he felt the boat dancing on the waves. It wasn't a storm, no it was the usual movements of water gently rocking a boat and its passenger. He was quite aware of his stomach and his breakfast, but he didn't feel sick or nauseated. It felt more like he had drunk a glass of the alcohol his system wasn't used to. A kingdom for a hypospray.

Just then, the telephone rang. Great, just what he needed right then. And Kes was upstairs changing Chloe's nappy. What was he to do with that damn ringing thing, Chakotay wondered in an annoyance rarely known with him. And where was it, after all?

He found it sitting on an occasional table next to the sofa.

When he was about to answer the insistent caller, he heard Kes calling from upstairs: "Chakotay! Please answer the phone! Just push the green button!"

Chakotay did as the Ocampan had told him. "Chakotay here?" he answered as he was used to. Too late he realised that he had answered the hail in the way of a Starfleet officer, and not as was custom in this time and place. After all, he didn't know any better.

"This is Tuvok."

Chakotay never thought he would ever be that happy to hear the even voice of the chief of security as he was now.

"Tuvok ..." Chakotay started to say but the Vulcan cut him short.

"Commander, sorry to interrupt you but we don't have much time. Please listen carefully. We need to examine you in order to find out what caused your appearance here. Mr Robinson, our Mr Paris, is already on the way to your place. He will bring you to the VAS headquarters as fast as possible."

Before Chakotay could say anything more, he heard a car arriving. It could only be Robinson, so he changed his mind from asking further information from the Vulcan, and just approved of the plan and hung up. Then he went to the front door to let Robinson in.

Daniel looked cheerful, ready for a new adventure. Chakotay could imagine quite well that life on Earth was less amazing than in the Delta Quadrant, so he could hardly take his enthusiasm amiss. "Hi again!" Daniel said and went straight into the living room looking for Kes and Chloe.

"What are you looking for?" Chakotay asked.

"Kes and your adorable little girl, of course. They should be coming along. And Kes hasn't seen Neelix in quite a while, anyway. I'm sure she'd love to accompany us."

"Oh, of course. They're upstairs." Chakotay returned, thinking about mentioning that in his time there was no "Neelix and Kes" anymore. But he failed to see the reason for mentioning such a thing. It wouldn't help anyone.

Half an hour later Chakotay, with Chloe in his arms, Daniel and Kes left the house for the piloting school where Daniel was working as a flight instructor. They would be able to borrow an aircraft there. It wasn't the first time Daniel used one of their seaplanes. Since the VAS was situated not far away from a lake in the Canadian woods, it was the best way to get there.

As expected, it wasn't a big problem to get hands on the seaplane. How fortunate that Daniel's boss still owed him a favour. In no time at all they were up in the air, on their way to Canada. This was a whole new experience for Chakotay. Of course he had been flying over the American west coast in a low altitude before. But it was quite different going it in a comfortable shuttlecraft from going it in a small, twentieth century airline. Space was even more cramped, but at least flying was closest to any feelings of the Delta Quadrant and the life he had left behind. As a consequence, flying over this familiar landscape made memories resurface. They lulled him into a state between waking and dreaming, and soon his suddenly very heavy eyelids fell shut and for the first time since his arrival of sorts here, he fell into a blissful slumber.

The flight was very smooth. Four and a half hours later Daniel announced that they had almost reached their destination. Kes got up from her seat to wake Chakotay so he could put on his safety belt for the landing. When he didn't respond to her gentle shaking him by his shoulder she used more force. But Kes wasn't able to wake Chakotay. Concerned, she reached for her bag and got her medical tricorder. The Doctor had left it with her, just in case. Scanning Chakotay's body she soon discovered that he wasn't just in a deep slumber but unconscious.

"Daniel," she shouted so that Daniel was able to hear her, "I can't wake Chakotay! He is unconscious! I don't understand."

"Kes, we're there in just a few minutes. The Doctor will be able to take care of him then. Will Chakotay make it until then?" the pilot asked.

"I believe so, he seems to be stable. I'll inform the Doctor to prepare for an incoming patient." Kes answered.

Minutes later the seaplane landed smoothly on the surface of a small lake in midst of the woods. Daniel steered the plane to the landing stage where paramedics were already awaiting them with an antigrav stretcher. They took him directly to the Doctor's practice.

"Kes, good to see you again!" the Doctor welcomed her.

"And you, Doctor. We'll have to postpone our reunion, Chakotay needs your help," she said.

"What happened to him?" the Doctor asked.

"I don't know. Some time during the flight he fell asleep, or so I thought. But when I wanted to wake him shortly before our landing I wasn't able to," Kes explained.

"Let's get him over here, on a biobed. Mr Robinson, would you lend us a hand, please?" the holographic Doctor kindly asked.

"Of course, Doc." Daniel responded.

All together they lifted Chakotay over to the main biobed which had been salvaged from Voyager's Sickbay. The Doctor started scanning the Commander's body immediately. It didn't take him long to find out about Chakotay's body cells being out of phase. It wasn't a surprise to him. But he continued to examine Chakotay's body. He wanted to rule out any organic cause for Chakotay's unconsciousness. Soon he found the data that proved his suspicions right. He had suspected the unconsciousness to be a symptom for the temporal flux his body had been exposed to. The question was why he was the only one who had suffered from the temporal anomaly. It was far too unlikely for an anomaly to affect only single individuals; from temporal engineering's experience it was long since established that temporal anomalies occurred randomly only. Was this a coincidence, maybe a new sort of anomaly or was it the doing of a third party?

"I found the cause of Mr Chakotay's unconsciousness. But I'm afraid I can't provide any medical treatment. This is an unprecedented case in medical science," the Doctor informed Kes after he had finished the examination.

"But you've found solutions to problems which seemed to be insoluble before! You can't just give up," Kes insisted.

"That's true. But in this case I don't even know where to start searching for a cure let alone to find one," the Doctor said helplessly.

"What about Tuvok?" Kes suddenly asked.

"What do you mean, Kes?" the Doctor returned.

"If we can't tell what's going to help Chakotay, maybe Chakotay himself can. And Tuvok is the only person here who is able to reach the Commander", Kes clarified.

"Are you suggesting a mind-meld?" the Doctor said in disbelief.

"Yes, or do you see any other alternative? Even if we're trying to find another solution, Chakotay may not make it that long", Kes tried to convince the Doctor. "Let's give a try at least", she said. Turning at Tuvok, who had been standing in a silent corner talking to Mr Cotya until now, she asked the Vulcan to join them. She quickly briefed him on their theory.

"This seems a logical way to proceed, Kes," Tuvok agreed. Although Chakotay and him had never been particularly close, especially after their stranding in the Delta Quadrant, he would do anything to help the Commander. "However, I will need some time to prepare myself for the procedure."

"How long?" the Doctor inquired.

"56 minutes is the usual amount of time I need. Will the Commander make it that long?"

The Doc nodded. "Yes, I think so. Please come as soon as possible."

Tuvok nodded. "Kes, I would appreciate it if you assisted me. Maybe we can save some time."

"Very well", the Doctor agreed after a few minutes of serious thinking. "But let me make this clear: I don't like this at all! I don't need a second patient in here", he stated.

"Thank you, Doctor!" Kes beamed enough to cover her excitement for both herself and Tuvok.

-----

Tuvok found himself on a clearing somewhere in the middle of a rain forest's nowhere. He had been here before. Here he had encountered the Skyspirits, the ancestors of Commander Chakotay's people. However, the construction that had been built in the middle of the clearing then was missing now. Instead, there was a fire burning in the safe confinement of a stone circle. But there wasn't anyone to be seen.

Tuvok decided to sit by the fire and wait. This scenario was probably the one that presented itself to the Commander in his vision quests. The Vulcan was quite aware of the fact that actually he was a trespasser here, and thus he deemed it best if he tried not to offend the spirit world. So he sat by the fire, his hands folded as usual when he meditated and tried to calm his thoughts down so he didn't disturb the spirits. He had great respect for the spirituality of other people.

Eventually, he heard a rustling in the underbrush. The sound was coming from the opposite side of the camp fire. Tuvok allowed his eyes to open, but otherwise he didn't move. He saw a man coming from between the bushes. Tuvok had never seen the man before, but there was something about him that was familiar. He had long white hair and a lined face, but he didn't seem to suffer from any infirmities of old age. He was smiling benignly and sat across from Tuvok. Seen from a smaller distance. The dark lines of a tattoo on the left temple of the man's tan face looked very familiar.

"Isn't it a beautiful night?" the old man eventually asked, gazing at the starry sky. His gaze followed the occasional sparks that rose from the fire. At the same time he seemed to listen intently to the sounds of the nocturnal animals and insects.

"Yes it is," Tuvok allowed. He followed the old man's example and gazed at the stars, too.

"You are Tuvok," the old man said. Tuvok hadn't been aware that the other man had averted his eyes from the stars and was looking at him now.

"That is correct."

"Do you know who I am?" the old man wanted to know.

"I guess you are a relative of Commander Chakotay," Tuvok offered.

The old man grinned. "I'm his tunkashila."

Tuvok nodded. "He is your grandson."

"And he's not well these days, is he?" the old man sighed. He picked up a log that had been lying next to the fire and threw it into the flames. For a moment, the fire reached its arms out for the sky, hissing with joy, sending a million red stars into the sky, then it calmed down again and continued its peaceful crackling. The flames were already eating at the new log.

"I am afraid so," Tuvok confirmed. "I was wondering if you could help me."

"What about your medicine man? You have one, don't you?"

"Yes, but his wisdom is limited. We are in need of a shaman," Tuvok explained.

The old man nodded in understanding. He opened the pouch attached to his belt and produced some kind of root, which he pushed into his mouth. Some kind of chewing tobacco, the Vulcan concluded. "You should have a shaman, you know."

"I am aware of that. Mr Chakotay and I are some kind of shamans to our people, but our knowledge is humble," Tuvok explained.

Again, the tunkashila nodded, still a benign smile on his face. "You know, Chakotay and my family used to call me crazy old man." He paused, chewing thoughtfully on the plant in his mouth. Tuvok, although eager to find out about Chakotay's condition, waited patiently for the old man to gather his thoughts.

"I am not crazy now, nor is my grandson," the grandfather observed. Then: "Chakotay thinks he is, because his body is trapped between two worlds. It's no good. But it's not his fault. But It's difficult to share another man's memories, although they are his own."

Tuvok's eyebrows almost met in the centre of his brow. What was the man trying to tell him?

Suddenly, the old man rose. "I have to go now. Chakotay needs my help. Maybe he'll finally realise ..." he cut himself mid-sentence, gazing at the stars again.

"Realise what?" Tuvok pressed.

The old man looked at him thoughtfully. "Well, son, sometimes a beginning is an end, and an end is a beginning, or the beginning is at the end or the end is at the beginning. What does a crazy old man like me know?"

Tuvok nodded, but only as a means to thank Chakotay's grandfather. He wasn't quite sure if the old man had really helped him. But if he deemed it the right moment to end their meeting, then he had to agree. He was a trespasser here, after all, and probably lucky that the old man had talked to him in the first place.

The old man had turned and was heading for the underbrush again. Suddenly, he turned around again. "You really should have a shaman to guide your people."

Chapter 10

"What does this mean, he is trapped between two worlds?" Everything seemed so foggy in her mind all of a sudden, a very disconcerting feeling that was strange to Kathryn. She grabbed Chakotay's shoulder in an almost possessive manner, as though she were thus able to make sure that he was still here with her and not going anywhere.

"Captain," the Doctor said gently. He touched her wrist, and Kathryn lightened her grip on her lover. Her nails had been digging into his bronze flesh, and they left crescent shaped marks in his otherwise unblemished skin.

"I am afraid I cannot elaborate. The Doctor and I will have to do further research on this," Tuvok offered. "I did not meet the Commander himself, it was his grandfather I talked to."

Kathryn's eyes darted from the one to the other. "The spirit realm," she said tunelessly.