DISCLAIMER: Everything Trek that isn't an 
offspring of my dirty little mind is owned by Paramount. 
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is no post-episode-
whatsoever-story, as German TV hasn't broadcast the second 
season of Voyager completely yet (shame on them!). All I 
know about later episodes I learned from reviews and articles 
and most of it from brilliant pieces of Fan Fic I've read. I'd like 
to thank all authors and readers of those stories for they gave 
me -unknowingly - the guts and the inspiration to write some 
Fan Fic of my own. This is my first Voyager story, so please 
be gentle and remember that English is not my mother tongue. 
Feedback is always welcome at fabrizek@t-online.de. Oh, 
BTW, you may pass my story to whomever you please as long 
as you keep the disclaimer, the header and my name on it.
THANKS TO: Johannes for reading and posting it 
and Doni for reading it (although she isn't a Trekker at all!)
Enjoy!




Dreaming of Turtles (VOY, J/C, PG)
by Claudia Fabrizek
Copyright July 1997
	
He wanted to hold her, to caress her dampened face, 
to support her in her agony and her struggle with the new life 
she carried within in her. He had to. It was not only just 
because him that she had to go through this ordeal. For the 
whole time of her blessed condition he had been there besides 
her, had supported her and tried to make life as comfortable as 
possible for her. It was the least thing that he could give her 
back in return for the most cherished gift she could give him. 
And now he couldn't be there by her side when she needed 
him most.
He had seen women giving birth before, sometimes he 
even had helped to deliver the little ones. So he knew about 
how much the ladies needed the child's father to be by their 
side when their time finally had come. But he only knew what 
he had seen. Being in this situation himself was another story. 
He wanted to be in there, be by her side and comfort her. But 
*he* wouldn't let him. Damn, she was his wife, he had the 
right and the duty to be with her now, he had to.
He slammed his fists into the bulkheads outside of 
sickbay. Then he again started pacing restlessly up and down 
the corridor, trying in vain to gain control over the 
overwhelming feelings and thoughts of worst case scenarios 
tormenting him. What if ... He tried to shut off the thoughts 
and look for support of his spirit guide. But this night even the 
Akoochemoya failed its otherwise calming effects. He closed 
his eyes and leaned against the bulkhead on the opposite side 
of the Sickbay doors that were as shut as he'd never ever 
recognized them to be. Slowly he sat down on the soft grey 
carpet, only to get up a second later and start pacing again. 
The corridor lay in ship-night's eerie silence, the 
lights dimmed to a minimum. Everyone who was not on duty 
was asleep, for it was two in the morning when Kathrynùwho 
had been somewhat restless the last dayùhad woken him up 
and told him with a smile on her lips that they wouldn't have 
to wait any longer. She was so calm, only the smile and the 
beaming eyes telling of her feelings. She seemed as though it 
wasn't herùtheirùfirst child she'd give birth to at all. He 
loved her. Her calmness rubbed off on him when he got up and 
got dressed to accompany her to sickbay. The corridors were 
empty, nobody came their way. Chakotay was grateful for that, 
for their child had hardly been *their* child over the past few 
months. Like any other of Voyager's children it was a child of 
their extended family, this oneùbeing the XO's and the 
Captain'sùmore than the others.
But *he* wouldn't let him stay at her side. Why? Was 
there something wrong with her or the child? She needed him 
as much as he needed to be with her, damn, what was this all 
about?
This was when the others came. He didn't remember that he'd 
called them. He must have thought that aloud, for Tom 
answered with a broad smile on his face: "Kes has. She 
thought you could need someone to cheer you up."
	
"Captain, I must strongly advise you to calm down," 
the Doc said for the umpteenth time, beginning to lose his 
patience. He put a firmly restricting hand on her left shoulder, 
pressing her back into the cushions. Her clear blue eyes 
displayed disbelief, anger, pain and fear at the same time. 
Who was the one giving birth to a child, she or him? How 
could he dare to ask her to calm down? Well, he was well-
known for having a lousy bedside-manner, even after all these 
years. Okay, he had managed to improve them, however...
"Please, I want to see Chakotay, I need him," she 
pleaded the hologram for the umpteenth time. Slowly she 
reduced her heavy panting to a slightly more relaxed 
breathing, as well as she was able to considering the stage of 
labour she was in. Kes came with a cool towel and gently 
dabbed the pearls of perspiration away from her face. The 
doctor didn't say anything, but despite this his eyes told 
Kathryn how concerned he really was. Although he was a 
hologram and thus supposed to be unable to have and express 
feelings, he was more easily to be read than the Vulcan Head 
of Security.
Kathryn closed her eyes. She just wanted to be far, far 
away from all of this. If only Chakotay were there. That would 
make things a lot easier. "Relax, Captain," she heard Kes say. 
"I'll see what I can do to persuade the Doc to let Chakotay be 
here with you, okay?"
"Thank you, Kes," Kathryn said softly, her hands 
stroking gently over her swollen belly. If only giving birth 
weren't that painful...
"Will you be fine?" Kathryn just nodded, glancing at 
the delicate old Ocampa woman. How long would she stay 
with them? She was almost seven years old, a proud age for 
one of her species. Kathryn couldn't imagine life aboard 
Voyager without her. She had done so much for all of them, 
four children had been born with her help. The Captain hoped 
that it would be even more over the next years to come.
Why wouldn't he let Chakotay be with her now? He had been 
there for her all the time of her pregnancy, taking every effort 
needed to back her and keep stress away from her. She knew 
him, he was out there in the corridor, pacing a hole into the 
carpet and muttering Indian curses, prayers and blessings 
beneath his breath. She knew that he wanted to be here beside 
her now, he had talked of nothing else during the last two or 
three months.
There was something wrong. She had realized that 
when she had glanced into the doctor's holographic eyes the 
minute before. But she just couldn't figure out what that could 
be. The routine check-ups they were running every two or 
three days over the the past three weeks hadn't indicated any 
complications at all, so what was it? Or had he simply not told 
her in order not to upset her? What or how much did Chakotay 
know? Was that the cause for his staying outside? Her fingers 
clenched around the fabric of her night gown and the matress 
of the bio-bed she was lying on. A wave of fear was coming 
over her, draining her throat and making her full eyes spill 
over. A coarse sound escaped from her mouth, being more a 
sound of her dread than one of the physical pain she had to 
endure.
	
"Doctor, please do call the Commander in. She needs 
him there by her side. It'd help her a lot," the tiny woman said 
with an insistence a stranger wouldn't have thought her being 
capable of.
"Listen Kes, this won't be an easy delivery," the 
hologram tried to explain. He concernedly looked through the 
window pane that separated his office from the surgery area. 
His patient was lying on the main bio-bed, the back-rest 
putting her in a half lying, half sitting position, legs slightly 
apart and knees drawn up, the hands gently caressing her 
swollen belly. He'd never have considered her being fragile, 
but now. Janeway was a strong woman, a very strong woman, 
but he had seen the concern in her eyes earlier, realizing that 
it had been his very own eyes that had told her more than he 
had liked them to. She knew that there was something wrong. 
Damn.
Kes looked at him quizzically. She hadn't thought of 
any complications until now. Strong concern showed up in her 
face, urging the Doctor on to explain.
"The child may not be able to get out the natural way. 
You understand? The Captain's pelvis is so slim that it might 
not let the child's head pass through."
Kes turned her back on the window pane before she 
gasped, seized with horror. "Oh Gods, that means we're going 
to do a Caesarean section," she managed to whisper tunelessly. 
"I understand that, but however I think it'd be better if he was 
there."
"All right," the doctor gave in, "but I think I'd better 
inform him first."
"Let me do it. The Captain shouldn't see your talking 
to him in here," Kes replied.
Kathryn's scream called them back, making them 
change their decision.
	
 Chakotay tried in vain to appear relaxed. Why did 
the ladies have that instict that told them there was something 
wrong in the first place? He gently brushed away the tears 
from her face. "Sh, love, everythingÆs allright, IÆm here with 
you," he softly whispered into her ear. Not looking at her 
helped him putting on his poker face that didnÆt let reveal any 
of his feelings. Why had the Doc been waiting until now 
before he had told him about the complications to be expected 
during the birth of their child? Otherwise it would surely have 
helped them to be prepared, especially Kathryn.
 "Chakotay," she whispered, "tell me whatÆs wrong, 
*please*."
 He exchanged a quick look with the Doc who merely 
nodded. At least he had agreed that Chakotay told her himself 
about the complications.
 "Listen, honey," he started, caressing her cheek with 
his thumb as he cupped her face, "the child's allright and 
you're allright, too. It's just that our son's to big to pass 
through your pelvis, you see? So the Doc and Kes are going to 
spare both of you the danger of a natural birth. They're going 
to do a Caesarean."
 Janeway bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. As she 
opened them, tears were streaming out anew. "I just hoped I 
could deliver *her* the natural way," she nodded sobbing 
softly.
 "Her? You think it's a girl, do you?" Chakotay 
smiled. The child's gender had been their most favourite item 
to fight about over the past seven and a half months. The Doc, 
who was standing behind them, just smiled, he had accepted 
the fact that humans preferred the child's gender to be a 
surprise a long time ago. Though he couldn't quite understand 
them. Well, perhaps that was because he was a very curious 
and very impatient hologram.
 "I *know* it, Chakotay," she replied.
 Chakotay looked somewhat disappointed. "I thought 
we had decided not to be told about the gender ... or is it 
maternal intuition again?" he added with a smile.
 "No, actually I got to know it by ..." She didn't finish 
her sentence as a wave of pain swapped over her body, 
shaking her fiercely and making her pant heavily. A groan 
escaped from between her gritted teeth as she arched her body 
into Chakotay's arms. She slightly twisted and dug her nails 
into the flesh of his hands and shoulder. Then she eventually 
sank back into the cushions and whispered a hoarse apology 
for hurting her beloved husband.
 "How are the bets?" she asked after she got her 
breath back, changing the topic quickly. She smiled at the 
thought of Tom Paris having accepting wagers on their child's 
gender ever since the crew got to know about their captain's 
pregnancy officially.
 "I don't know," Chakotay shrugged his shoulders, 
"last time it was sixty to fourty that it'll be a girl. But things 
may have changed."
 Kathryn just smiled. She wanted to tell him why she 
was so sure about it being a girl, but the Doc interrupted her.
 "I think weÆd better get started now, Captain. Are 
you ready?"
 Kathryn nodded. "Can Chakotay stay with me?"
 "If it is his wish, yes by all means. You'll be fully 
conscious as I'm going to do the operation with a local 
anaesthesia," the Doc explained.
 "We'll just have to put the back-rest down," Kes 
added and started doing so. 
	
"So, does anybody still want to make up a bet? I'll not 
accept them any longer in about five minutes!" Tom 
announced outside sickbay. A pretty huge crowd of nervous 
expectants had gathered there despite the ungodly hour.
 "Tom, do you really think that the Captain would 
approve of this?" B'Elanna asked her husband, remembering 
herself giving birth to their now eleven month old son. She 
certainly didn't like it when she learned about the bets, 
however Tom's being not the bookie.
 "C'mon, Bella," he started to reply when the doors to 
sickbay whooshed open and let exit a beaming Kes. The crowd 
was quiet at once. Everybody was very eager to hear it, not 
only because the news decided over their replicator rations.
 Kes didn't say anything for a while, she just looked at 
the asking faces of the crowd. "So, who bet it would be a little 
Chakotay?" she eventually asked.
 Several crewmen were about to cheer, when she 
interrupted them: "Well, you'd better pay your debts then, for 
the child's a strong and healthy girl!"
	
 They had put up the back-rest after the Doc had 
made sure that the Captain's health was allowing him to do so. 
Now, she was cradling her daughter gently in her arms, 
carefully caressing her tiny rosy cheek with her forefinger.
 "So tell me," Chakotay asked," how did you know it 
was a girl?"
 "The last few nights I was dreaming of turtles," she 
just said, not looking away from her daughter.
 Chakotay burst into laughter. "So you did your 
research," he finally commented.
 "Why, I was just curious what it could mean, so I 
looked up the files and learned that the Native Americans used 
to put the umbilical cord of a girl into a purse of the shape of a 
turtle to keep it as a talisman," she explained looking into 
Chakotay's dark eyes.
 "Yes, my love they did so, but you managed to 
choose the wrong tribe again."
	
End